Posted by Roy Hobbson on August 18th, 2010 •
21 Comments
August 18, 1923 — At the annual National Football League Board of Directors meeting in Akron, Ohio, Cotton Whittaker of the Columbus Panhandles was named League President. His first order of business? A queer & revolutionary concept that involved transforming the very long & very continuous 60-minute NFL game into TWO SEPARATE 30-minute games. Except the first game wouldn’t really count in the standings — only the final cumulative score at the end of GAME NUMBER TWO would determine that day’s victor. The other owners were mighty confused.
“Well bust my buffers, boys!” Whittaker famously bellowed. “TWO GAMES INSTEAD OF ONE!! We’re gonna be rich, I tells ya! Rich as Persians!!!”
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Posted by Roy Hobbson on August 17th, 2010 •
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Going to the Chicago race, are you? Splendid. A fabulous event, that. But why stop there? Why return to an unoriginal hotel or domicile when there is revelry to be had? Answer: you shouldn’t.
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Posted by Roy Hobbson on August 16th, 2010 •
26 Comments
Graham Rahal doesn’t much care for these recent outbursts in IndyCar. Fisticuffs and other such hullabaloo may fly in NASCAR, but that is because they are uneducated & slovenly. No, such tomfoolery reflects poorly on the gentlemanly ways of our sport, as we are “expected to act more professional, more buttoned up and more educated to appeal to a much higher demographic.” (He then tossed a shiny gold bullion coin at a peasant boy and ordered him to “FETCH ME THE GRANDEST GOOSE IN ALL OF CAMBRIDGE!!”)
It’s “good for making headlines,” he writes. But “it doesn’t have a place in IndyCar.”
INDUBITABLY!! Well said, Graham. We’re IndyCar, damn it … not homeless mouth-breathers. Our palates are refined & dignified, and our races have no use for “headlines.” (That bothersome tripe is for poor people & dullards!!) Rather, we prefer the highfalutin hills of Mid-Ohio, “where you stare at the clock waiting for it to be over,” as Graham so correctly describes it. Hear hear.
Posted by Roy Hobbson on August 11th, 2010 •
13 Comments
The HBO series “Hard Knocks” premieres tonight. It’s a show tangentially centered around football, yes — but it’s focused mainly on the human drama & intrigue & captivating story lines which transcend the game. The NFL, it seems, is (still) striving to bring their product into the lives of people who aren’t necessarily football fans. They’re (still) trying to broaden their appeal.
Perhaps IndyCar and/or Versus should be taking notes & doing the EXACT SAME THING with our sport. Perhaps a weekly documentary show depicting the drama & intrigue & captivating story lines off the track would serve us well & bring in new fans. I tend to think so. But then again, who am I to judge? What do I know? I’m no marketing guru. Perhaps we’re already on the right track & moving along swimmingly. Time will tell, I suppose.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go be the 50th person to Re-Tweet this & join IndyCar Nation so I can maybe win a free pair of Magnum® work boots.
Posted by Roy Hobbson on August 11th, 2010 •
27 Comments
Now is the time to pray. But now is NOT the time to panic. We must do as the IZOD Girl has always done: we must keep our heads as everyone else is losing theirs. Godspeed.
(Stay poised in IZOD PerformX®!!)
Posted by Roy Hobbson on August 10th, 2010 •
16 Comments
There’s a group of us who regularly meet up to watch the IZOD IndyCar telecasts. These are typically delightful little affairs filled with witty banter & many fine meats & tasering eachother for sport. And also IndyCar racing, I suppose. And recreational ether use. And all sorts of other happenings generally frowned upon by polite society. Our race-day telecast is a brief escape from the monotonies of adult life, full of mischief and questionable decision-making. It’s our lovely little patch of International Waters in a vast ocean of Responsibility. It is our Manctuary.
So when a trusted & highly decorated Field General of the Pagoda so recklessly opted to bring his 4-year-old to Sunday’s proceedings, worlds collided. And they collided hard. Our cherished Manctuary was carpet-bombed into ruin. Not because the kid was unruly or misbehaved — because he certainly wasn’t. Far from it. He was polite & quiet & knew more about IndyCar than all of us combined. Rather, it was simply because he was there.
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Posted by Roy Hobbson on August 3rd, 2010 •
45 Comments
For IndyCar fans, we’re in that desolate mid-season patch of tedium that effects every sport. It’s a scorched & barren place alright, void of anything interesting or noteworthy and everybody’s a bit more jumpy than usual. It’s quite unpleasant. And exhausting.
What do we talk about? What do we discuss? Why is my left arm tingling?
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