Karma, I’m afraid, is a sad & lonely bitch who is clearly insane. A pyromaniac with a grudge, if you will, hellbent on destroying Tony Kanaan.   The Curse of the Clambake continues. Violently. And is showing no signs of relenting. Drastic times call for drastic measures, it would seem. And drastic measures are forthcoming. Stay tuned.

We’re being told that this here is Dario Franchitti’s car for Edmonton — and it appears to be sponsored by “Vaseline Men Lotion.” For more on the story, let’s go now to the Pagoda’s Chief Track Correspondent & our resident old-school badass who often slays bears for sport using only his massive forearms, AJ Foyt. AJ?

A 1.0, to be exact. This according to USA Today. Ahhh yes, the fabled 1.0 … the Magic Threshold of Quasi-Respectability, and possible proof that the tide is turning.  But let us not overzealously revel in it like petty amateurs. No, that would be Bush, and we are professionals. We should act that way. We should act like we’ve [...]

With ABC/ESPN’s coverage of IndyCar now done for the year, so too is our time with Marty Reid. Therefore, let us take the time to revisit some of the man’s more memorable verbal wonders from this year, shall we? It’s what he would have wanted.

When Mario Moraes took his Crazy to new heights by violently bayonetting EJ Viso LONG AFTER THE CHECKERED FLAG HAD DROPPED, a wonderful chain of events was set in motion. An unstoppable, mesmorizing chain of events that will redefine Crazy as we know it, and certainly outlive us all (seeing as how it’ll probably murder everyone who [...]

“You know who’s a real sneaky bastard? Hideki Mutoh. Because everytime I’d try to pass his sorry ass, I’d be all like, ‘Dude … what’s up with your car?!?!?! Why are you sponsored by FootJoy??!?!’ And then I’d get all distracted and stuff because FootJoy golf apparel rocks and I’d start thinking about being on the [...]

“I had peanut allergies as a kid and Toronto’s air quality is notoriously high in peanut-oil vapors and it was hard for me to breathe out there. My throat closed off a tiny bit and I felt all phlegmy and icky. Lousy Canadians and your unhealthy peanut-y air!!! There is blood on your hands today!!! YOUR [...]