Thanks to a bevy of law school loans that never go away & my money-pit kids & my wife’s unfathomably expensive haircuts every two weeks, I have an approximate net worth of negative-$117,054. And yet, inexplicably, I employ the services of a Certified Financial Planner. Why? I’m not entirely sure, really. Other than the fact that I’m supposed to; it seems [...]

{ABC/ESPN’s Final Pre-Production Meeting — July 3, 2010} EXECUTIVE PRODUCER: Alright, folks. Time to get to it. Let’s really bear down now. We have TONS of details to iron out before tomorrow. This race won’t broadcast itself, you know. Let’s be sharp & get prepared. [room simultaneously erupts into laughter]  EXECUTIVE PRODUCER: HAHAHA!! Oh that’s rich!!! Seriously though — [...]

After Tony Kanaan won Sunday’s Iowa Corn 250, an odd scene unfolded on camera. Excited crewmen were lined up outside of the Winner’s Circe frantically directing Kanaan down Victory Lane – guiding his path to the celebration like a hoarde of tweaked out third-base coaches waving the runner home. They were not subtle about it. However, either Kanaan didn’t [...]

I’ve come to understand the ways of the Female language, but not well. I’m certainly not fluent in it. I have an understanding of the basics – the essential elements of the lexicon that ensure my good standing & keep me from sleeping in the garage. Of course, it wasn’t always like this. Things used to be different. More … literal. Like, [...]

For some unknown reason, I am a fully credentialed IndyCar “journalist.” This is laughable & dumb on many levels, but it DOES allow me to watch the Indy 500 from the Media Center if I so choose. Which I did not. Nor have I ever. That is not my Tradition. Because traditionally, my wife and my friends & I belong in [...]

In theory, your favorite date-night restaurants would be determined solely on the basis of how good the food is. In reality, though, that’s just not true. Take “King Ribs Bar-B-Q” here in Indianapolis, down on Keystone Avenue. Every bite of their pulled-pork sandwich tastes like God lighting off bottle-rockets in your mouth. It is an entirely delightful [...]

Whenever I’m in the car and need to put my window down (like at the Wendy’s drive-thru — or during a routine drug deal), there’s a 50% chance that I’ll blindly reach for the button & accidentally put the backseat window down. And for reasons that are beyond me, I will just go nuclear. Really. Unjustifiably, irrationally & inexcusably nuclear, to [...]