If I’m not mistaken, there’s a press conference of some sort today. I think. Can that be right? Is it today? Hold on. [checks the 472,932 separate emails, Tweets, texts, voicemails, telegrams, and lingering smoke signals sent this week from IndyCar's PR department] Yep. It’s today. 2:00.

First things first: hats off to IndyCar for the new signs. It’s a step in the right direction, certainly — and indicative that the proverbial marketing gloves are coming off. Or at least, they’re starting to get somewhat loosened. Finally.

So you think Scott Dixon will win Friday night, do you? Well guess what? You have a 38.9% chance of being correct … which is exactly 61.1 percentage points less than what we’re looking for here today. And roughly 9.2 billion percentage points less interesting.

Comment of the Day wins a pair of Ryan Hunter-Reay’s 8-pound, 132-square-inch sunglasses that were originally designed for those poor bastards with elephantitis of the skull. Good luck.

Blah blah blah witty, insightful comments blah blah blah somewhat like the overthrowing of misguided, communist nations blah blah blah Tony Kanaan will win today & then feast on the flesh of Shawnee-area coyotes. Yeah yeah, another Open Mic. Got it. We know the drill. But before turning you loose, just know that a smarter man than me once [...]

According to IndyCar Commercial Division President Terry Angstadt, the Pagoda’s Open Mic is “a safe gathering place for our MENSA-level fans who may or may not be high on paint-thinner. It’s a most bitchin’ place.” Hear-hear, Terry. Well said. And seeing as how we’ve got another four or five hours until the race begins, we might be a tad front-heavy on the [...]

If it’s too obscure, inflammatory, expletive-laced, odd, or just flat-out inebriated to print elsewhere … it’s perfect here.   Welcome to the 2009 IndyCar season. Welcome to St. Petersburg. Thank God.