If you have kids — and perhaps even if you don’t — you KNOW that the “dual synchronized phone greeting” is forever doomed to fail. It just is. Too many moving parts — all of which requiring the precision timing of a Swiss-made atomic mega-clock. But we as humans are fascinated with its grand potential for some reason, and so we defiantly march right into its inevitable & awkward PIT OF FAILURE time and time again.
For instance, when my mom’s birthday rolls around, I will line my kids up in front of the speaker phone and give it a go once more, knowing full well that THIS WILL ALL BLOW UP IN MY FACE, probably. No matter. We’ll discuss the particulars beforehand:
When she picks up & I give the signal, say HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GRANDMA!!! super loud, okay? Got it?
And we’ll rehearse. And we’ll rehearse once more, just for good measure, and everything will go swimmingly. I will make the call and my mom will answer and I will GIVE THE SIGNAL VEHEMENTLY and … nothing. Jesus. Quite peeved, I will whisper-yell their lines threateningly as my mom is all “HELLO!? HELLO!? IS ANYONE THERE? HELLO!?” because old people tend not give up on phone calls without a fight. Still nothing. And then one of my kids will just haphazardly blurt out a “Happy Birth–” before getting cut off by the other kid who quickly follows suit, but not simultaneously — which causes both to stop & stare at each other quizzically. So very, very awkward. I will put an end to this ugly amateurishness as I intervene and explain to my mom what our intention was — but not without harboring deep-seated disappointment in my totally inept kids. (HOW WILL YOU EVER ONE DAY TEAM UP TO RIGHTEOUSLY AVENGE MY DEATH IF YOU CAN’T EVEN PULL OFF THIS SIMPLE TASK?!?)
Point being, when we learned that Kanaan & Helio would be giving the Starting Command Saturday night from inside their cars on the grid, we learned that it was doomed to fail. Because that is God’s way. We knew this. We accepted it, well before it all went queer. And “go queer” it did — in a hurry. In a big, off-sequence fireball of AWKWARD.
And that right there was the Miami race. Not the “fireball of AWKWARD” thing, of course … but rather the predictability of it all. Not in a bad way, though. Not even in a boring way. Quite the opposite. Some things are predictable, for good or ill, and the Cafes de Brasil was one of them.
It was a fine race, frankly, full of trippy sparks & lead-changes & Bob Jenkins saying fascinating things like “Ryan Carpenter-Reay Mears the Fourth,” just as he always does (bless his heart). Plus, Danica and Kanaan again seemed on the verge of PLAYING FOR BLOOD and knife-fighting each other at supersonic speeds, and that is never not fun. Milka crashed, obviously, and Will Power did too and there was a roughly 300-lap caution — ONE CAUTION LAP FOR EVERY SPECTATOR IN ATTENDANCE!!! HOORAY!! (Good riddance, ISC, you spiteful f–ks. I hope your greedy little shitcircus gets hit up on Federal RICO charges & then drowns in a river.) Oh, and the whole race felt non-contrived & entertaining — just as we hoped & knew it would be.
But ultimately, it ended as only it could: with Dario winning the Championship somewhat anticlimactically and Ganassi partying deep into the sultry South Beach night and Kanaan shoving people into the pool at the “W” and is this 2009? No? It might as well be. But never mind all that. It’s not important anymore.
Because Saturday’s race feels like it happened a fortnight ago, and there’s been only 6,000 new developments in sponsorships & empty rides, as well as a worrisome uptick in 7-Eleven’s being angrily vandalized & set ablaze. These are heady days. The season is over, yes, but we have plenty of time to look ahead to next year. Like, eons. Sigh.
So for now, let us begin the process of tying off THIS season. With our yearly Awards Show. Indeed, The Paggies® are upon us, and it is your duty as Americans (and also a few notable Europeans who we accept as Americans around here) to submit your Award Nominations. The best & most unique submissions will be chosen, and for that you’ll win six pounds of gold doubloons — although not really.
By DZ, October 5, 2010 @ 4:13 pm
Best STAAAAAAAAAAAHting Commanduzezu,
That dude from the Motegi race.
By P Daddy, October 5, 2010 @ 4:34 pm
Dear Roy,
Thank you for giving me a small reason to continue paying attention to IndyCar. Although I’m not sure reading your blog counts as following the sport. Because there’s very little race reporting in your posts. Then again, there’s very little racing to report on. How can you call it racing when the same 2 teams win every race? The point is you can’t, and it needs to change.
With that said, the 2011 Paggie for “Best Non-Race Reports” goes to…… (IZOD girl strolls out in bikini and hands me envelope, she gives me a soft wet kiss on the cheek, then we begin to stare deeply into each other eyes, which turns into an uncontrollable long romantic kiss as I reach my hand around her smooth glistening back and begin to undo…)
Shit!!! Sorry about that. The Paggie goes to ROY HOBBSON!!! Congratulations Roy! See you in February? or is it March? or is it April? Where’s the first race anyway?
By BP, October 5, 2010 @ 4:50 pm
The Butler Basketball Award for the “Holy Crap, they’re going to win!…mother—–” moment of the year. And the nominees are:
1. Dan Wheldon/Panther Racing in the closing laps the Indianapolis 500.
2. Ed Carpenter/Panther Racing at Kentucky Speedway
3. Dan Wheldon/Panther Racing at Chicagoland (I’m sensing a trend)
4. Justin Wilson/Dreyer & Reinbold Racing at Toronto
By madtad1, October 5, 2010 @ 6:34 pm
“The Dalara Award for Driving Excellence goes to…”
“Oh shit, look out!” [crashing noises]
“I told you NOT to use KV Racing to bring the results!”
By Bob, October 5, 2010 @ 9:47 pm
I nominate sweaty Jack Arute from Motegi.
By Tony Joseph, October 5, 2010 @ 11:25 pm
Best attempt to blame small/money losing crowds at Kentucky, Toronto and Edmonton on ISC: Randy Bernard
Highest average of sponsorship money spent per podium finish (minimum 1 podium): Danica Patrick
Best use of money and time to mandate something that the majority of the current grid won’t be able to afford: The ICONIC Committee
Most embarrassing moment: (Multi-way tie) All of the “men” posting on the Internet who couldn’t wait to kick Milka Duno when she was down
Best definition of marketing ROI as it relates to the IndyCar Series in 2010: (Three way tie) McDonald’s, Motorola and 7-11
Best use of green technology: Paul Tracy for powering his current racing career with a massive bag of wind
Best reason to decide NOT to be an IndyCar sponsor: Having to sell your company to the forum posters at IndyCar Nation and TrackForum
By Christopher Leone, October 5, 2010 @ 11:56 pm
Best trophy inspiration: E.J. Viso for the “Flying Cocksman”
IZOD(TM) FASTEST SLED IN THE WORLD AWARD: Three-way tie between chassis at Bryan Herta Autosport, Sarah Fisher Racing, HVM Racing
Best use of the Versus online chat poll: Explaining Jack Arute’s excessive sweat during the Motegi (Honorable mention: Anything Lindy Thackston posted that night)
Worst sponsorship decision award (lifetime achievement): 7-Eleven
By Andy Bernstein, October 6, 2010 @ 12:28 am
Tony Joseph, you are one in a million.
Once the actual results are authenticated, the tabulation will be more like two in 430. But you deserve the credit nonetheless.
By Mikhail Danilov, October 6, 2010 @ 2:33 am
Best Deragotive Noun – Shitcircus
@TJoseph – when was Milka ever NOT down? I’ve been shaking my fist at her most heartily since day one of her reign of incompetence.
By Earnastine, October 6, 2010 @ 8:54 am
Pee Review Award:
(Bronze sculpture of grown man on a toilet seat thinking) has to go to an Indycar blogger this year.
The Golden Shower “Peer” award definetely goes to Roy.
By cappy, October 6, 2010 @ 10:01 am
The 2010 Paggie for Excellence in Parking Cars on Marco Andretti’s Head goes to….Mario Moraes!!!
By Larry Phelps, October 6, 2010 @ 11:30 am
The bread lines this offseason will be littered with drivers. Hopefully some of these guys have proper representation in landing a ride.
I shudder at the prospects of some of these guys trying to land sponsorship on their own…about as riveting as a group of actuaries lamenting that they didn’t go the financial engineering direction.
By Katie MD, October 6, 2010 @ 12:52 pm
Kids today. *rolls eyes* They are all too lazy and/or inept to avenge their fathers’ deaths. I weep for the future.
By Nathan, October 6, 2010 @ 4:41 pm
Best Hibachi Impersonation: Simona De Silvestro
Best In-Car Camera Footage: Tony Kanaan (whenever he starts in the back)
Green Award for Best Carbon Fiber Footprint by Recycling: HVM Racing (7-year old tubs FTW???)
WORST Carbon Fiber Footprint: KV Racing
Best Sponsor: Fuzzy’s Vodka
Worst Sponsor: 7-11
Best Arute Prop: Marbles (oh, so close….)
Worst Arute Prop: Globe (because Earth really IS flat)
Race of the Year: Brazil (Turn 1 Lap 1 BY ITSELF)
Worst Race of the Year: Edmonton
Goodwill Award for best exposure of IndyCar/spreading the word: IZOD
Worst exposure of IndyCar: (TIE) NASCAR’s own Danica Patrick, ISC
Best Idea: IZOD Two-seater
Worst Idea: Fire hoses on Safety team trucks
Best (and by that I mean WORST) Marty Ried mispronouncing of a driver’s name: “Silvestra de Simona”
Best Moment for a Blog: SP.com at Chicagoland (for making contact on Cameron’s chest)
By madtad1, October 6, 2010 @ 5:16 pm
Best Ben Hur Chariot Race Re-creation: TK and Danica’s last laps at the Miami Race
B0HICA Paggie goes to Tony Kanaan who 1st was screwed by his longtime sponsor unceremoniously dropping him, then being told his team was dumping him for losing his sponser.
The Mr Blackwell Paggie goes to Helio Castroneves for his kind attentions to Charles Burns’ couture.
The Big, Clanging Brass Ones Paggie MUST go to Randy Bernard for his innovations in changing the sport, bravery in the face of fire from all sides about the chasis design and daring in dropping the ISC tracks. I think history will prove him correct. This ain’t no ordinary rodeo!
By Jason McVeigh (Notable European/Pagoda Accepted American), October 6, 2010 @ 8:21 pm
Paggie for most self inflicted damage to a race team since the inception of multi car incidents: The KV drivers.
By lazlo, October 6, 2010 @ 8:26 pm
RH – I second P-Daddy’s nomination “Best Non-Race Reports” – you continue to set the bar higher with each post. I appreciate & admire your work.
“Sanity prevails, just not the way we hoped it would” Paggie to the committee for not selecting the Delta Wing as the footprint of the future.
Best Racing Moment – anytime they line up and go, but especially Indy.
Worst Racing moment – end of the season.
Most Tolerant Employer – IndyCar for retaining the Silent Pagoda
Off Topic: So, Roy, how about a “season wrap-up” event at the Flag Room?
By Jason McVeigh (Notable European/Pagoda Accepted American), October 6, 2010 @ 8:29 pm
And a lifetime achievement Paggie for Roy Hobbson for being a damn fine blogger. Or else for convincing possibly the hottest woman in Indycar to wear a Spatula logo on her ample chest. Both are good achievements.
By The Patriot, October 7, 2010 @ 4:48 pm
Best race face: Scott Dixon
Best angry face: Scott Dixon
Best orgasm face: Scott Dixon
Thank you Roy. You take the “Best of the Tards” award. These are fun, let’s do more.
By wm. moseley, October 7, 2010 @ 8:16 pm
Least intellectual IRL quote:
Calling Indy car fans ‘Low lying fruit’ or anything else uttered by Randy Bernard during the preceeding season.
You can pick your nose, your friends, but not…..
By Tony Joseph, October 8, 2010 @ 4:24 am
Uh Mikhail, congratulations on identifying yourself as one of those “men” who needs to kick a woman when she is down in order to make yourself feel “better”. The truth is that after four seasons of Milka and even more with Marty Roth, the IndyCar Series has no excuse to STILL not have a minimum speed rule instead of trying to throw one together on the fly this mid-season. Despite what Bernard said, what brings the IndyCar Series’s integrity down isn’t Milka Duno. Their consistent high level of unpredictable incompetence does. Of course, you’re probably sure that 7-11 and IZOD wanting to cut back their IndyCar team sponsorship has nothing to do with the way they perceive the series being run. Whatever.
Sometime within the next 12 months, I’m sure that people like you will realize, as I already do, that Randy Bernard has just been saying everything that everybody wants to hear since March. One week he’s all about Americana and the next week he’s literally chasing after Ferrari and Williams in Europe. One week he’s celebrating the IRL’s 200th race and then another he’s killing that name, practically branding it as evil. I don’t have enough Dramamine to deal with Bernard’s twists and mood swings. However, as an open wheel racing fan for five decades, I do have enough patience. I’ve seen much more talented people leave here on a much less of a public rail in that time. This is now Randy Bernard’s IICS. Even I’m curious about what he will do to it, but probably not for the same reasons you are.
FWIW, William, Randy Bernard said that FORMER IndyCar fans, not current ones, were low lying fruit. Your point is still valid since I doubt those people have been waiting around for the leader of an (alleged) professional sports league to insult them before they decide to return as fans. Here’s my question. If there was fruit lying around or low outside for at least 15 years, would you eat it if somebody offered it to you and said it was good? I know I wouldn’t. I’m glad to see that some people, unlike Mikhail, passed on the mug of Kool-Aid Bernard was hawking around this season. Good job, William.
BTW, there is a new Paggies award category just revealed.
Best miss of a publicly stated deadline: Tony Cotman for promising, and then failing, to have 2012 engine rules set and announced by October 2.
Yep, the reason the IndyCar Series is keeping everybody else in the dark is because they’ve been there for so long themselves and, by now, don’t know anything else.
By Roy Hobbson, October 8, 2010 @ 8:57 am
↑↑↑↑↑↑
HAHAHA!! Oh, Mr. Joseph — you’re like a big bowl of candycorn: JUST FILLED WITH OLD-TIMEY FUN!!!
By DZ, October 8, 2010 @ 9:50 am
Paggie for Best Halloween Candy nominees:
- Candy Corn (both orange/yellow/white and brown/orange/yellow variants)
- Hershey Minis (including Krackel/Mr Goodbar/Hershey/Hershey Dark)
- Homemade popcorn ball
- Milk Duds
- Junior Mints
Vote early, vote often!
By Earnastine, October 8, 2010 @ 11:40 am
Milka-duds might have been fun last year.
This year it’s “low-lying fruit” chewies AND
Randy-Rasppppberry Kool-aid pop-rocks.
Pretzel m&m’s are o.k….if you can find them.
By Jason McVeigh (Notable European/Pagoda Accepted American), October 8, 2010 @ 12:13 pm
I used to come to the Pagoda for a heady mix of satire and hilarious (if questionable in taste) stories from. Mr H which would then be followed by funny (and again, if qustionable in taste) comments from strangers whose names I came to know as being associated with the Pagoda family. These regular guys and gals (You know who you are) just wanted to watch their favourite Motorsport and then comment crazily about often random things on a unique forum supplied in the form of a blog by a half man, half myth, half 16th century viking called Roy Hobbson. (Yes I firmly believe he is a man of 3 halfs) but anyway.. Lately there’s been a desturbing trend of sour puss comments from serious types ranting about things that really aren’t that important. The Pagoda was once a place of glorious insanity served with reckless abandon and I weep at the thought of some people changing that.
Wait, this comment was too serious..
Boobies!!!
There, that’s better.
By Earnastine, October 8, 2010 @ 12:38 pm
Times have changed sadly, also make sure you check your kids halloween candy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6cKpxLov31Q&NR=1
By The Speedgeek, October 8, 2010 @ 1:14 pm
@Jason
Too negative?!? Sour puss comments?!? F-you! I’ll show you negative! I haven’t even begun to get negative yet!
No, I also weep at the potential loss of our outlet for IndyCar-related crazy at the hands of folks who have no interest in doing anything other than furthering their own relentlessly negative agendas. ‘Tis a sad day when a post about the indavisability and head scratchiness of having TWO drivers give a starting command from their respective cockpits devolves into a shouting match of EVERY. LAST. ITEM. that may or may not be ailing Our Sport. I’ll say it again: I weep. And, um, that might not be figurative weeping.
By Jason McVeigh (Notable European/Pagoda Accepted American), October 8, 2010 @ 1:45 pm
I hear ya Speedgeek.. But maybe we’re just being way too Negative about people being negative.. Ugh, brain freeze.
By Earnastine, October 8, 2010 @ 2:06 pm
LOL “I weep.”
Don’t be daft.
By DZ, October 8, 2010 @ 4:21 pm
I’m sorry, did someone say Boobies? Holy crap, I thought I’d pulled a Rip VanWinkle, only to find us already in MonthofMay-speak.
Also, I don’t particularly care for this rumor that the Pagoda may be shut down. Not sure why anyone is interested in shutting down the Pagoda and I’ll become more than a little negative myself toward those who would do such a thing. You hear me, Pagoda-shutter-downers??!! I know you’re listenin’.
Don’t F with the Pagodans.
Seriously.
From the book of Mears 4:9 ‘and whithersoever thou Pagoda goest, so do I.’
By Tony Joseph, October 8, 2010 @ 4:32 pm
TS just doesn’t like it when the “negative people” prove him wrong. That’s why he is weeping, although it might also be due to needing a diaper change. Just because the IndyCar fanbase is small enough to have all of us drink from Randy Bernard’s personal Kool-Aid mug, it doesn’t mean we all should. After all, isn’t what brings people to SP the fact that this is a “Bernard-spin” free zone in the first place? Some people enjoy being a ostrich with their head buried in the sand. I don’t and I never will.
BTW, is it just a coincidence that only a few hours after I pointed out Tony Cotman’s missed dealine, it is announced that he will appear on Wind Tunnel Sunday night to give us the latest official excuse for it? First, IZOD backs away from Andretti, thereby proving correct my claim that they very well might have spent too much on the IICS to get a decent ROI. Now, Cotman will attempt to publicly explain himself (no doubt with hilarious results) on Wind Tunnel. Yep, this has been a pretty good week for ‘ole TJ!!!
FWIW Roy, you can have your candy corn. I’ll open up a box of Jolly Joes, which Mike & Ike just started making again. After all, I’m pretty sure they named them after me (aka Jolly Joseph).
By Earnastine, October 8, 2010 @ 5:27 pm
On a lighter note… Cartman’s “poor and stupid” on Southpark wasn’t that funny.
The pagie award goes to Declan for Day 7:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-E7KSEZhp0
By That Sarah Dame, October 8, 2010 @ 5:29 pm
The sp is shutting down??? I call bullshit.
By wm. moseley, October 8, 2010 @ 7:56 pm
That’s what interests me about you Tony Joseph: your passive-aggressive and able to quote and mis-quote me all at the same time.
1. I wouldn’t kick Milka when she’s down, wrong verb.
2. I became an ex-IRL fan when the IMS hired their
St. Bernard. Either way, If that wanna-be thinks I am easy pickens for his brand of B.S., he’s wrong.
3. You couldn’t possibly have your head in the sand
Tony Joseph, It’s already in an anatomically
incorrect position now.
Here’s an idea-get a blog of your own where you can
argue with whoever will listen to you.
By Bickelmom, October 8, 2010 @ 8:06 pm
McVeigh-So true, my friend. Crazy needs a home and I hang my hat at the Pagoda.
So, Paggie for “Most amusing commenters in the blogosphere” goes to all you regular Pagodites who have a sense of fun. You all make me laugh all the time. Roy, you sure do attract some race-lovin-smart-asses! “Bickelmom thinks I’m funny” iron-on patches all around!
By Rubio, October 8, 2010 @ 8:27 pm
Calm down Mosely.
This is a new era.
Your brand new Danicar is waiting at Toys’R us.
Also there is an opening at ESPN, whacked “off” but available.
(SG may have beat you to it!)
By wm. moseley, October 8, 2010 @ 8:58 pm
THANK YOU ERNASTINE!
That post was so funny I re-posted it.
Your right, they should get the Pagie.
By Tony Joseph, October 9, 2010 @ 3:41 am
So, William turns out to be one of those Internet posters who says that he didn’t say what he said or didn’t do what he admitted to doing after you nail him on it. Just in case you didn’t notice, this isn’t TrackForum, William. That type of crap doesn’t fly at SP. Only someone like you thinks that publicly claiming you’ve always been against Milka (those WERE your words, William) means that you actually were on her side the whole time. Were you lying then or are you lying now? It’s obvious that the only reason you don’t consider yourself “easy pickens” for Randy Bernard’s BS is because you think your brand of BS is so much better and more believable. Keep dreaming that dream, kiddo.
If all you were offended by is the word “kick” in relation to how you’ve admittedly treated Milka since 2007, then I’ll just leave your admission to not treating her well for everyone to see. Frankly, after you just admitted to publicly staring at my rear end, I don’t even WANT to know what you would do to Milka when she is down any more. Keep that fantasy to yourself, William.
Rubio was right. You and TS are most likely just frustrated Danica minions looking for someone else to blame for your choice not panning out, much like Danica herself looks to blame others when she screws up. No wonder, when Danica had her official fan club a few years ago, she called mindless minions like you her “Danica Maniacs”. I don’t know if I’m supposed to congratulate you for living up to that term or be disgusted by it. I know. Congratulations for disgusting me. Yeah, that pretty much covers it.
By Tony Joseph, October 9, 2010 @ 4:02 am
Here’s another award category. However, since it technically came after the end of the IndyCar season, it might not be eligible for the 2010 Paggies.
Best deflection of lack of talent and/or winning intent: Danica Patrick for telling the NASCAR media Friday that being mentioned on Hannah Montana made 2010 a “big year” for her.
Just in case you try to play TS’s game of claiming that I don’t have my facts right, she says it at about 3:05 on the clip linked below. Of course, I expect some claim that it was “taken out of context”. That’s the way Danica’s minions work.
http://www.nascar.com/video/nationwide-series/2010/preview/sound_off/10/08/nns_fon2_media_danica.nascar/index.html
Notice that starting at 2:28 in the video, Danica says that she considers it a compliment when someone makes fun of her. Yup, even Danica likes her bashers more than her minions do. Of course, she probably just rolls in all of the attention she gets, no matter where it comes from, as long as it keeps the checks rolling in. Why be motivated by making it to Victory Lane when you can make enough money to buy all kinds of stuff, huh? There are plenty of drivers who could have one decent race per quarter in an Andretti car and do it for a lot less than the $12 million Forbes recently said Danica now makes.
Does anybody want to guess, once Go Daddy is sold and its new owner takes over, if he/she will want to spend what the company has been spending on current sports marketing, including Super Bowl ads? Based on culling various reports over the years, just cutting Danica, Hendrick (currently Mark Martin) and the Super Bowl could take between $35-$40 million off a new Go Daddy’s expense report. That’s a lot of $1.99 domain names, isn’t it? If Danica’s Go Daddy money dries up for Andretti, do you think Mikey would keep her on out of the goodness of his heart? Only neon green wearing Danica minions would probably answer “yes” to that one. Unless there is a legal reason to keep her, Andretti’s version of “Go Daddy” would probably become “Gone Danica”, especially given how quickly they showed TK and RHR the door when pushed for sponsorship.
By Rubio, October 9, 2010 @ 9:12 am
T.J. take it slow and don’t forget to breathe. There are other good things in this life, even in racing. Considering that the IRS will be watching closely and taxes are due on April 15th… May should be the start of an interesting year.
Most likely all the whining about sposorship is a negotiating ploy to prime the pump. Similarly the Delta Wing concept was really just to leverage the Dallara down in price and watching them “deliver” the product with their Iconic committee (of 5) was almost as funny as …the big vote. The car show that introduced the Delta Wing…or the IZOD Neked man trophy that they presented caused an uproar…And they keep blaming the messenger. WHo could forget Randy’s first day at the office?
By The Speedgeek, October 9, 2010 @ 1:59 pm
Wow. Just…wow. There’s no arguing with any of that. When you’ve got such an iron-clad, well thought out argument like you’ve got there, Mr. Joseph, there’s just no way to counter. I cede the Paggie for “Well Reasoned Commenting Excellence” in perpetuity to you. Huzzah!
By BickelDad, October 10, 2010 @ 5:56 am
2011 Preseason Favorite For Least Likable Team
Andretti Autosport lead by Danica and Marco. If they need a third whiner for the team and I can see if my three year old is available next season.
By Tony Joseph, October 11, 2010 @ 4:26 pm
Am I the only one who noticed that when William and TS were outed as being frustrated Danica minions, neither of them denied it?
BTW Rubio, I don’t know what you are implying against me with your “IRS” statement. However, if it’s even a remote suggestion that I might consider cheating on my taxes just because I don’t glow 37000% of the time about Princess Danica, that’s a bold faced lie on your part. In truth, the only time the IRS has ever directly contacted me was when there was a calculation mistake made that originally went AGAINST me and they had a payment with interest to give me as restitution for it. If there is anybody who wouldn’t want to “upset the apple cart” by going in the opposite direction with the IRS, it’s me.
If there are people in the IndyCar fanbase who actually believe, Rubio claims, that a lack of sponsorship by a number of teams (including right now Penske and Andretti) is a choice and not a necessity, then I may just feel sorry for Randy Bernard. If I, as a CEO, had to rely on such “intelligent” fans to pull my racing series out of the muck, I’d pack it in and run for the hills.
By Rubio, October 11, 2010 @ 7:45 pm
BTW. Who knows what the “lack” of sponsorship is all about, maybe it is just a sign of the times. Brazil seems to be chomping at the bit to get the tarriff on imported ethanol eliminated,and actually that might prove to be a good thing in the end..Who cares?
Maybe T.K. quit for all you know he might have been PO’ed when D.P. slid by him. The fueding may have come to a complete end. Maybe the Apex-man just would rather have some personal space…who really knows? Who said we were “intellegent” fans…the only smart one around here is our boy Roy..he already gave himself a “Golden Spatuala.”
Randy is a pretty good old boy AND he knows which side his bread is buttered on. I say the Apex-Brazil guy needs a break and he (like Roy) happens to like his kid-good for him!
It’s a tough economy for supporting hobbies out there. Hobby-Lobby is looking for part timers, maybe they will sponsor your favorite driver.
Whatever you do, don’t spend time pitying the CEO, he’s got it all covered. Why not just sit back and enjoy the rest of the season of DWT-Stars,just like Helio, my favorite dancing race-car driver who just schooled the IRS, in all things Indy racing.
Its copastetic in the cabanna.
By Rubio, October 12, 2010 @ 12:01 pm
@TJ
TMI
By James, October 12, 2010 @ 4:36 pm
To all of those arguing and bickering I have but one reply:
“BOO! BOO! BOOOOOOOO!!” (that’s my impression of the old lady from The Princess Bride)
Also, send that answer out to whoever wants to take the Pagoda away
By bemo, October 14, 2010 @ 3:06 pm
Mommy, I saw the BAD MAN again!
By Tony Joseph, October 15, 2010 @ 11:52 pm
According to Rubio:
1. Tony Kannan quit Andretti Autosport and it’s the best thing for everybody involved.
2. The lack of sponsorship in IndyCar and NASCAR is a complete publicity stunt and there are an overabundance of companies that actually want in.
3. Randy Bernard is an infallible genius who should only be praised for good news and bear no responsibility for bad news.
The truth that I know as FACT:
1. Tony Kanaan, as of this very minute, is still under contract with AA. If TK has not found another team, AA will be forced to either run him or pay him $3 million to sit out in 2011.
2. The lack of sponsorship in ALL of motor racing is real, as is the smaller teams’ inability to afford a new car in 2012.
3. I wouldn’t define the unresolved 2012 situation (engine and chassis rules), the still TBA 2011 finale, a title sponsor that wants to cut back on a major visual presence despite claiming that their partnership is “the best thing going in the company”, an Indy 500 that reset a new “worst rated” number each of the last two years and Versus ratings about on par with “Ahh Bra” infomercials as “all covered”. Doing so would be, at best, major PR spin and, at worst, bold faced lies.
FWIW, I usually don’t point out typos. However, should any of us really be surprised that, Rubio, a person who claims to know more than I do, couldn’t even spell the word “intelligent” correctly? If you can’t even get your own insults right, why should we believe you know anything else? Like I said, knowing that people like Rubio are so heavily on Bernard’s side actually make me feel sorry for him. When Randy said he knew nothing about IndyCar racing when he took the job, that included knowing nothing about its fan base.
BTW, does anybody know why Rubio thinks that this season’s Dancing With the Stars has something to do with IndyCar racing or is rambling like that just part of the problem I was pointing out in the first place?!?!?
By wm. moseley, October 18, 2010 @ 5:51 pm
Roy says nothing….
7-11 dropped Andretti Motosport and picked up Red Bull Racing Renault….Maybe TK can watch them in Brazil next month….
By Rubio, October 21, 2010 @ 4:43 pm
An after-hours phone message for the Tony Joseph Driving Experience wasn’t immediately returned.
One driver is at home, probably collecting some decent unemployment and watching Yo-gabba-gabba and T.J. is all twisted up in the game. Have a Red Bull.
By Jen, October 23, 2010 @ 9:48 am
I will make the call and my mom will answer and I will GIVE THE SIGNAL VEHEMENTLY and … nothing. Jesus. Quite peeved, I will whisper-yell their lines threateningly as my mom is all “HELLO!? HELLO!? IS ANYONE THERE? HELLO!?” because old people tend not give up on phone calls without a fight. Still, nothing.
Amazingly accurate. GET OUT OF MY LIVING ROOM!
By Tony Joseph, October 25, 2010 @ 12:21 am
Instead of refuting any of my factual statements, Rubio makes up more crap. Is anybody REALLY surprised by that? Once again Mr Bernard, good luck having people like Rubio on your side. At least you still have somebody willing to drink your Kool-Aid.
By Earnastine, October 25, 2010 @ 1:12 pm
T.J. and the spirit of IRL cars past
has good intentions BUT missed the point again.
Cheer up old boy.
likehttp://www.crash.net/tailenders/video/159416/1/windsor_and_the_ghost_of_failed_f1_teams_past.html
By Earnastine, October 25, 2010 @ 1:18 pm
spelling error:
http://www.crash.net/tailenders/video/159416/1/windsor_and_the_ghost_of_failed_f1_teams_past.html
By Tony Joseph, October 31, 2010 @ 12:53 am
Earnestine, I present facts, not opinionated, incapable to back up points. Perhaps that is why you don’t “get” them. I could make up crap too. However, I’d then have to look as stupid as they do. That’s why I don’t do it.
BTW, what’s the over/under on how many days it will take some of the Bernard butt kissers commenting here to tell us how “evil” Hot Wheels is and how great it is for Greenlight Toys to have reacquired an IndyCar diecast license? I say no more than 11.
By Rubio, November 2, 2010 @ 9:10 pm
Greenlight toys…probably better than red light paraphenalia.
Obviously everyone loves Hotwheels…
The grinch who stole Indycar toys just in time for Christmas.
Major disappointments all around.
Yo gabba gabba will have to do this year.
By Tony Joseph, January 1, 2011 @ 12:15 am
Thanks for proving me right with your words again, Rubio. I predicted that it would take less than 11 days for Rodeo Clown Bernard’s fanboys to turn on Hot Wheels and you did it in only 3. FWIW, Randy wants to thank you for being so stupid and gullible by giving you an old PBR t-shirt from his personal stash and a chance to pick up Robin Miller’s dinner check next time they both eat together. Thanks for the chance to educate the idiots, SP. At this point, the (alleged) best thing about 2011 starting is that it gets us one day closer to 2012. To those of us with a clue, that’s pathetic. To people like Rubio, TS and the “non-kicking” William, that’s exciting.
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