RROWWRRR!!!! Behold, my children!!!! It is I, Hálfdan the Conqueror, the immortal DEMON OVERLORD OF THE LOST TRIBE OF GERMANIA, reborn through the FIRES OF HELL!!!! AARRRGGGGHHH!!!!!! BOW DOWN, HUMANS, for I have come to FEAST UPON THE SOUL OF THE INDYCAR VICTOR & RAPE HIS HEART VALVES & RIDE AROUND ON MY WHEEL, just as the elders foretold many moons ago.
COME TO ME, MY DEAR!! Look into my eyes. Do it now!!! I BECKON YOU!!! I WELCOME YOUR DEMISE VICTORY WITH OPEN ARMS!!!!
By Jason McVeigh, September 28, 2010 @ 5:32 pm
I tip my hat to you Sir Hobbson. Brilliant.
By Nicky Scarfa, September 28, 2010 @ 5:40 pm
Hilarious.
Those things freaked me out at Barber.
By sejarzo, September 28, 2010 @ 5:40 pm
And as duly noted by POV on twitter, the thing isn’t even original… see http://tinyurl.com/26nfttp
Also, when one clicks the link above for a better look, there appears to be peeking out an, umm, extended appendage of the groinal ilk, does it not?
By NotMilka, September 28, 2010 @ 5:42 pm
#ParkTheTrophy
By The Speedgeek, September 28, 2010 @ 6:04 pm
I’m not sure I get it. Is he an olde-timey football player? If so, he’s about to alligator arm that Gus Dorais long bomb. Is he a WWI biplane pilot? A roadie for Metallica, circa “The Speed of Sound” tour? None of these things explain the loincloth or the unicycle, though. WTF? Can’t we just have a goddamn cup, like a regular sport?
By BP, September 28, 2010 @ 6:26 pm
The Stanley Cup. The Ryder Cup. The Lombardi Trophy. Hell, even the Larry O’Brien Trophy.
And This is what gets dropped on the series? Give me something you can drink beer, wine, tequila, what-have-you, any day of the week over this.
By Susan Rae, September 28, 2010 @ 6:38 pm
It reminds me of this naked guy: http://tinyurl.com/9u4sds
He lived in a Des Moines shopping mall for over 20 years before it was decided he was obscene. Maybe Indycar could have found him, cleaned him off and made it a life-size trophy. He looks more “racy”.
By Savage Henry, September 28, 2010 @ 6:53 pm
Uhhh…
By redd, September 28, 2010 @ 7:20 pm
Yeah. Uh…
By Christopher Leone, September 28, 2010 @ 7:36 pm
This is the worst trophy in the history of professional sports.
Now, the trophy GIRLS who presented this monstrosity, on the other hand… why couldn’t we just have a life-size statue of Cameron be the trophy, instead of a gladiatorial E.J. Viso knockoff? I mean, Viso won’t even win this in his career, in all likelihood. IT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE!!!
By Boo Boo, September 28, 2010 @ 7:58 pm
I take it this falls more towards the “champaign” end of the spectrum.
By Scott, September 28, 2010 @ 8:16 pm
Puke. Just puke.
By Louis the Keymaster, September 28, 2010 @ 8:27 pm
Then, during the crowning of the Indycar champion, they chose a new form for him: that of Hálfdan the Conqueror! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of Hálfdan the Conqueror that day, I can tell you!
By Bob, September 28, 2010 @ 8:36 pm
What other choices did they have for a trophy? I agree with BP… A cup would do just fine.
By Jeff Iannucci, September 28, 2010 @ 9:26 pm
In the immortal words of Hank Hill, “What the hell is that?”
By Sue B Honey, September 28, 2010 @ 9:44 pm
Why would they choose a burn victim for a trophy? or John Menard?
By Roy Hobbson, September 28, 2010 @ 10:19 pm
I may be in the minority here, but I much prefer the championship trophy that DIDN’T make the final cut — the one that was beat out by the naked demon-soldier on the wheel. For you see, I prefer that championship trophies have the ability to TEAR YOUR SHIT UP WITH HIS HOOVES & A BATTLE AXE!!!
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A bit much? I don’t think so.
By Richard, September 28, 2010 @ 10:36 pm
OK, so how is Robin Miller going to blame *this* on Tony George?
By Ryan Worden, September 28, 2010 @ 10:42 pm
I really thought this was a joke when I saw this earlier today… sadly it appears like this is not.
I am scared to death about what Ashley Judd may do with this.
By cappy, September 29, 2010 @ 12:02 am
Quick! Kick it into the pool! Only water can kill it!
By Leigh O'Gorman, September 29, 2010 @ 12:20 am
Hmmmm…. it’s only the trophy. Who cares what it looks like?
(p.s.)
It sure is ugly.
By Mike Wendler, September 29, 2010 @ 1:05 am
What heck is that? If Randy okayed this I have serious doubts about his judgment now.
By Tony Joseph, September 29, 2010 @ 1:59 am
After a long (actually only a few minutes) search, I’ve narrowed it down: Since there must be a connection to IndyCar Racing, the trophy is obviously either a homage to EJ Viso or Jack Arute.
http://www.imscdn.com/gallery/indycar/indy/2008/20080514-ssnoddy/med/6SMS6547-7124.jpg (Viso)
http://www.imscdn.com/gallery/indycar/indy/2008/20080514-ssnoddy/med/6SMS6555-1930.jpg (Arute)
The fun will really start once the Randymaniacs attempt to explain this “artwork” with a straight face. For much of the past year, I’ve been saying that having a CEO who knew less about the sport than its fans did is a bad idea. Approving this trophy and the choice to debut it in such an un-family friendly way just proved it. For all the grief that Tony George got over the years, today might have proved that he’s NOT the stupidest one in the family after all.
By AMR, September 29, 2010 @ 4:12 am
They arent getting the stuff on the track right, because they’re too busy focusing on image, and if its new viewers they’re after, especially younger ones, how is THIS supposed to make them feel? “yes one day when you want to be a racing driver, you could win something that JRR Tolkien wrote about, but to you it scares the s……. out of you”
By AMR, September 29, 2010 @ 4:20 am
That disclaimer up to the right, should say “this website does not represent the views of the indycar series, but they should have a bloody look now and again, what are those guys thinking”
By pressdog, September 29, 2010 @ 5:45 am
My initial thought was: “I am LOTHAR, King of the Hill people.”
By Roy Hobbson, September 29, 2010 @ 8:35 am
“Hmmmm…. it’s only the trophy. Who cares what it looks like?” -Leigh
Well of course nobody cares, Leigh. It’s just that NOW we have something to talk about. (That’s a good thing.) And if that particular something ALSO conjures up images of one of Sauron’s most feared orc generals LAYING WASTE TO MIDDLE EARTH WHILST RIDING A WHEEL? Well that’s even better.
By Tom G., September 29, 2010 @ 9:09 am
What
The
Fudge
Where the hell did Lothar the Conqueror come from? Was this on the clearance shelf at Spencer’s Gifts? Everyone knows that the best trophy is a naked chick standing on a globe. There just aren’t enough Bronze Boobies on this trophy for my tastes.
By pressdog, September 29, 2010 @ 9:11 am
Come on, Roy. We have lots to talk about. Same two teams battling for the title, same exact people save one involved in the “battle,” same fear and loathing of a low-attended snoozer of a finale like we got last year. Only three weeks until Homestead-Miami!!!
By LifeBeginsAt220mph..., September 29, 2010 @ 9:45 am
I would rather have a Godzilla Trophie, with Godzi in full blown “Gonna Stomp the Hell out of IICS offices for not picking me over this DAMN thing!!!”
And at the bottom in the finest polished Titanium letters… SO’S YOUR FACE!!!!
Now THAT is what we need, if we cant have a bloody fricken cup like most normal sports.
{where are my Liguid Drano Crystals,i need a bump…}
By DZ, September 29, 2010 @ 10:56 am
Your pic, Sir Roy, this angle, and next to a pool said only one thing to me:
“I emplore you to give me some pants”
I can only assume they will be some sort of IZOD-branded trousers that will be installed by Cameron the Great to this trophy during the presentation to the Champion.
IZOD, I heart you and all you’ve done for this series, but this is a MFU.
By The Real Housewives of Indy, September 29, 2010 @ 11:00 am
Inspired by the Segway boss who rides off cliff…
Ironic for the fastest drivers in the world.
Next year, William or Dario rides “really fast” on a Segway in Africa and almost falls off a cliff before finishing their preferred snack…Peanutbutter and bananna sandwich, or haggis on a stick.
By walt, September 29, 2010 @ 11:16 am
where can I get the comic book on this guy? Number one comic, big money!
By DZ, September 29, 2010 @ 11:26 am
On second thought, perhaps I’ve been too hasty. Maybe only a minor revision is needed to placate the masses here…
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v697/dazehr/Blog%20Stuff/indycar_trophy_small2.jpg
By SkipinSC, September 29, 2010 @ 11:38 am
I used to think the World Cup (soccer/football) trophy was ugly. This is far worse. Besides, in the picture I saw, all attention was taken away from that FUGLY trophy by the trophy girl’s partially unzipped firesuit, which, I think we can all agree, was a far nicer sight.
By Yo Mamma, September 29, 2010 @ 11:40 am
Cant believe you posted a World of Warcraft trophy in the comments hobbson. Let alone a Tauren Hunter. I much prefer the Illidan Stormrage one.
By Sticky McCombs, September 29, 2010 @ 12:52 pm
Tolkien would have nightmares over this one. So, IZOD made a (subjective) mistake. They’ve made few from my perspective. This monstrosity is not going to draw anyone into the sport. And, it’s not going to send someone away from the sport. It’s horrible. And, says nothing about IZOD or the series. But, what is the true negative effect? Virtually nil.
By Oilpressure, September 29, 2010 @ 12:57 pm
Phantom of the Opera rides a unicycle.
By Tony Joseph, September 29, 2010 @ 1:24 pm
“There just aren’t enough Bronze Boobies on this trophy for my tastes.” – Tom G
Actually Tom, the bronze boobies were paid to stand in the background at the presentation, so the IRL couldn’t afford to add any more to the trophy.
http://www.indycar.com/var/photos/182025/FULL.jpg
By Eric H., September 29, 2010 @ 1:35 pm
This trophy was about as well thought out as the 2004 Iraqi Governing Counsel’s attempt at a new flag (that resembled the flag of Israel): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Proposed_flag_of_Iraq.svg.
By DZ, September 29, 2010 @ 1:55 pm
Again, Roy’s Predator on an old-timey bike with a balloon was better than the Firestone Firehawk and now this latest creation, but that’s just me.
By Tom G., September 29, 2010 @ 2:47 pm
@ Tony Joseph
Ah… that’s a much better photo. Was there a trophy in it? I hadn’t noticed.
By Jason McVeigh, September 29, 2010 @ 4:04 pm
Oh sh*t! I forgot about Predator on an old timey bike with a balloon. DZ is so right, it should have been the new trophy. Doesn’t anyone consult Hobbson about these things?
By Steve Barnes, September 29, 2010 @ 4:40 pm
I guess this one is a better choice than the first attempt …
but not by much … unfreakin’ believable that ANYONE thought this “trophy” has any application to Indycar racing.
By Earnastine, September 29, 2010 @ 4:49 pm
Art has a whole new meaning.
Also, “gay” can mean stupid or pointless, even meek, lame or timid.
That trophie is so gay
By Tony Joseph, September 29, 2010 @ 5:54 pm
“Ah… that’s a much better photo. Was there a trophy in it? I hadn’t noticed.” -Tom G
Ironically in that photo, the top of the trophy starts right at the end of Mrs. Haven-Sulte’s cleavage. If it was a snake, you were close enough to have it bite you, Tom. Just to confirm, yes Tom, IZOD Trophy Girl is married.
By Tom G., September 30, 2010 @ 12:20 pm
Wow. Someone took grumpy pills today.
Sorry dude. I didn’t mean to offend anyone. This is the pagoda after all, and nothing should be taken too seriously.
By Mikhail Danilov, September 30, 2010 @ 1:08 pm
That thing is so horrendous that it angers me. Who the hell designed it and thought it was a good idea? And who OK’d it? They should be both cast in bronze, I should think. Seriously, is this thing supposed to be inspiring?
By Rob, September 30, 2010 @ 1:30 pm
Not trying to be an apologist for the Indycar overlords, but this thing is frickin cool. Why? It’s different, that why. Not a cup, not a bowl, Not a clear piece of lexan engraved with some text. It has sparked a conversation/discussion/debate/fistfight that you wouldn’t get with a bowl. Remember what last year’s championship trophy looked like? Neither do I.
By Tony Joseph, September 30, 2010 @ 1:59 pm
“Remember what last year’s championship trophy looked like? Neither do I.” – Rob
Not only do I remember what last year’s trophy looks like, I know where to find a photo of it ON THIS SITE with the champion and his wife.
http://www.imscdn.com/gallery/indycar/homestead/2009/20091011-jhaines/med/12JH6762-8314.jpg
Mounting a pile of stale Cheetos on that same wooden base would also have “different”. Although that may not have been “frickin’ cool”, had they bought the bag at either Target or 7-11, the IRL could have, at least, a more recognizable sponsorship connection to their trophy. They didn’t even have enough imagination to pull that off. BTW, here’s a free a piece of advice, Rob. If you want to fool people into thinking that you know what you’re talking about, it helps if you DON’T directly admit the opposite.
Tom, I’ve been to, and been banned from, Trackforum all because I dared to prove two of their “experts” wrong and then didn’t want to change their diapers when they got upset about it. Having been there with that branch of the fan base, I fully accept that your attitude is not offensive and is “the norm” for the core Indy racing fan. FWIW, those of us who “experienced” the racing marketing legend known as Linda Vaughn can confirm that Mrs. Haven-Sulte simply makes us yawn. For example, not only was Linda Vaughn waiting for you in Victory Circle, as the link below proves, she even occasionally would bring her own checkered flag.
http://www.legendsofnascar.com/Linda_V_5.jpg
By Paul, September 30, 2010 @ 10:32 pm
Unreal. They have completely “jumped the shark” with this ridiculous thing. Definitely not something anyone will look at and think “I gotta have that.”
By Earnastine, October 2, 2010 @ 10:12 am
Zoran, the Norse god of speed, is a lesser know pagan god. Zoran is the son of Odin, the god of strife and war, and Hel, the goddess of death and daughter of Loki. Zoran had a small group of devout and fanatical followers who were often known to set fire to themselves and jump of cliffs in tribute to their god. Zoran was the creator of Thor’s war chariot and was known for creating great machines that reached unfathomable speeds. Freyja, goddess of magic and death, was in infatuated with Zoran. But Zoran was well known to be in love with Sv, a Japanese Shinto spirit. Freyja poisoned Zoran because of her jealousy. Zoran was trapped in a deep sleep for an untold period of time. Without the protection of Zoran, his followers were slaughtered in the Medieval Inquisition in the late 1100s. It is rumored that Zoran has awakened from the poison and now lives high in the mountains of the new Americas. The stories state the Zoran will sometimes show himself to humiliate mortal men in competitions of speed. Then after feeding off of their emotions, Zoran’s followers will sacrifice the mortals by setting them on fire and throwing them off a cliff.
By Tony Joseph, October 2, 2010 @ 6:18 pm
FYI Earneastine, if you go to Google Images and search “Zoran god of speed”, this is the second photo that comes up:
http://www.kickette.com/images/uploads/137f3bbf7121034519915521.jpeg
Are we really so desperate that we have to try and draw in a few dozen comic book/fantasy dorks with what is supposed to be one of the most respected trophies in American auto racing?
If Bernard was truthful to Danica on the Homestead qualifying broadcast that, if he doesn’t get results by the end of 2011, he should be fired, I’ll count the days until then if crap like this is what we have to look forward to.
By Earnastine, October 3, 2010 @ 7:36 pm
FYI T.J.
Zoran did not wear “old spice” ..Back in the day-
By Earnastine, October 3, 2010 @ 8:12 pm
Also, one final thought. That very strange “interview” might rather be like MMA(Mixed Martial Arts) lessons on acid. Watching that interview again might make you alternate between giddy elation, and questioning the power of your gag reflex. “You Know”
By Coz, October 4, 2010 @ 7:39 pm
It looks like his wang is going to get caught in the spokes.
By lazlo, October 6, 2010 @ 8:08 pm
I think this trophy (or a reasonable likeness) was one of the things I saw the last time I sampled some of Owsley’s stuff… Fun, but definitely not for the meek.