Going to the Chicago race, are you? Splendid. A fabulous event, that. But why stop there? Why return to an unoriginal hotel or domicile when there is revelry to be had? Answer: you shouldn’t.
Join us, won’t you, in some remote & moonless campground where neither the laws of man nor God are particularly enforced. It is “Paul & Mary’s Raceway Camping,” and it is a regal patch of land. Plus, it is reasonably priced & smells of cannon fire — and some whimsical Crazybus takes you to & from the track. Last year, a small platoon of Pagoda operatives set out to scout the premises & gauge its potential — the final verdict was most favorable.
This year, we invite all Pagodans to secure their slot & pitch a tent & be apart of the lively camping festivities. Because hotels are for uppity Communists, and you are no Communist. You’re a winner — a winner who happens to enjoy delicious s’mores & six-story Patrón bongs under the warm glow of a flare gun. Just like John Denver. You’re welcome, America.
By TMc, August 17, 2010 @ 2:13 pm
I will follow that balloon toting Predator to all corners of the globe. (In. Maybe. Can neither confirm or deny with certainty right now.)
By Hamilton Fish, August 17, 2010 @ 2:19 pm
The transport bus Roy has previously referred to has been known to be quite the provocative host for the Norwalk virus. A minor nuisance in the grand scheme. Just don’t make any plans for 24 hours starting that Sunday around 2pm.
By Oilpressure, August 17, 2010 @ 2:19 pm
My camping days are behind me. I am just old & uppity; not a communist. If I cannot sleep on a bed in an air-conditioned room – then I choose not to go, sir. So there.
By Jason McVeigh, August 17, 2010 @ 2:20 pm
Best.. Pagoda Picture…. Ever!! I just had to stare at it for 5 minutes straight and I don’t normally do that for anything that doesn’t involve a nude IZOD girl. Just brilliance.
By BP, August 17, 2010 @ 2:49 pm
With the Predator around, does this mean that everyone has to dress in mud? Just in case, I’ll bring my giant Billy-inspired knife.
By Jason McVeigh, August 17, 2010 @ 3:36 pm
Can we change the firsetone firehawk to the Firestone Predator. Nothing says respect our series like a mascot that’s a pissed off Alien hunter with dread locks. Plus, he could fire t shirts into the crowd via his shoulder mounted t shirt gun.
By DZ, August 17, 2010 @ 4:27 pm
Jason’s illuminated something here… Fire..Hawk??!! What is this Double-A baseball? Keeyristamighty, Firestone Predator is perfect. Firestone, are you listening? Cartoonish birds haven’t sold you one damned set of tires unless you’ve supplied the entire grid at my nephew Charlie’s 6th birthday trike race.
Majestic Predator, if you only could wield a solid black spatula in your lizard-hand… if only…
By TMc, August 17, 2010 @ 7:35 pm
No…thank YOU, John Denver!
By Rob, August 18, 2010 @ 1:07 pm
What TMc said. verbatim.
By Rob, August 18, 2010 @ 1:08 pm
Crap.
This: “I will follow that balloon toting Predator to all corners of the globe. (In. Maybe. Can neither confirm or deny with certainty right now.)”
not this: “No…thank YOU, John Denver!”
By izod9, August 18, 2010 @ 8:12 pm
I’m a winner?? Wow this must be some deep positive motivational site. Please tell me we will not be inhibited by strict parameters of social propriety while there.
By Bob, August 18, 2010 @ 9:41 pm
What’s wrong? The CIA got you pushing too many pencils??
By The Speedgeek, August 19, 2010 @ 9:27 am
Hmmm, it appears that His Geekiness may be in position to accept said invitation, at least for an appearance. Stay tuned. And, yes, I did just refer to myself in a “royal third person” manner, LeBron-style. I stand by it.
By lazlo, August 20, 2010 @ 9:29 pm
a very tempting offer…
In the event I don’t make it – some one, please, pour some Coleman lantern fluid into a standard Solo “to go” cup – anything more than half way is a waste. Take said cup & gently lob (a high arc is recommended) into the center of the campfire.
The results are just this side of amazing.
Throughout the mid 80’s & early 90’s this was an instant “friend maker” within the Irish Hills Campground.
Big fun when conducted by trained professionals.
Best practices:
It is considered very poor form not to frantically scream and warn others prior to lobbing the cup into the fire.
Always travel with a trauma nurse and a fully stocked first aid chest.