On this date in 1789, citizens of Paris became so fed up with the French royal authority that they took up arms and STORMED THE BASTILLE. That’s where the phrase “STORM THE BASTILLE!” comes from, I believe.
Anyway, Bernard-René de Launay was unfortunate enough to be governor of the Bastille at the time. Predictably, he he got dealt with — French Revolution-style. The mob dragged him through the streets of Paris in a most disagreeable fashion, kicking & stabbing him relentlessly, thus paving the way for my favorite sentence of all time:
The badly beaten de Launay shouted “Enough! Let me die!” and kicked a pastry cook named Dulait in the groin.
Clever lad, that de Launay. Because frankly, if you’re in 18th century Paris & it’s a quick death you seek, NOTHING quite does the trick like walloping a pastry chef in the marbles. It’s fun AND effective, although the fun can be short-lived — like, say, when ”de Launay’s head was sawed off and fixed on a pike to be carried through the streets.”
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The point? French pastry cooks are not to be kicked in the groin. Obviously.
Secondly, July 14th – historically speaking — is known for the People rising up against Authority. It’s known for the governing power becoming accountable for the decisions they make.
And at 12:30 today, IndyCar makes its biggest decision ever. Personally, I’m confident that history will not repeat itself & that we’ll all be greatly pleased with the Announcement. I’m confident that there will be NO STABBINGS, NO KICKS TO THE GROIN, NO REVOLT. But just in case …
[grabs bayonet, heads out to the Indianapolis Museum of Art]
The floor is yours. The day is yours. The time is now. May the heavenly Swift Lights guide your running commentary.
By irlfan, July 14, 2010 @ 10:42 am
I cant wait! I’m leaving work in 20 minutes, heading home for the torch and pitchfork (just in case of course), and heading to the Museum of Art!
By Tom G., July 14, 2010 @ 11:36 am
Only 1 hour left before the announcement. Just let me be the first to say…
OH MY GOD THE SKY IS FALLING!!!!! LOOKOUT!!!! ARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!
ahem, now that’s out of the way, please continue.
By CurlingRacer, July 14, 2010 @ 11:47 am
Weeee…The people of France…(Fronce)….Fronce.
Just felt a History of the World Part I reference was appropriate. Roy, I’m glad you are at the Art Museum with a bayonnet. Now, I KNOW things will come out right.
By DZ, July 14, 2010 @ 11:49 am
*leaves desk* *grabs pitchfork* *hits door running*
By Richard, July 14, 2010 @ 11:51 am
“Lesson very carefully, I shall say zees only wence.”
Given how many British drivers are in the IRL, an “Allo Allo” reference seemed appropriate.
By Christopher Leone, July 14, 2010 @ 11:54 am
Of all the days to be called in to work at the LAST F*CKING MINUTE…
By DZ, July 14, 2010 @ 11:59 am
Also, if anyone making the presentation at any point says, ‘Strategery’, my head just might explode.
By Jason McVeigh, July 14, 2010 @ 12:01 pm
Roy Hobbson is the history teacher I always wanted but who the school couldn’t legally hire for fear of lawsuits.
By Ryan Worden, July 14, 2010 @ 12:01 pm
Am I the only one wishing Mary Hulman-George would come out at the 20 minutes before the announcement and scream “Let them eat cake” at the crowd. Then nothing happens for 20 minutes as Indycar officials snicker in the background and Hobbson leads a bloody revolt in an art museum?
By Carrie, July 14, 2010 @ 12:53 pm
Well that was… kinda lame.
By Neon18, July 14, 2010 @ 1:26 pm
Kinda-
By Neon18, July 14, 2010 @ 1:30 pm
Un baisser pour quelques-uns et un triomphe pour d’autres. Les permettre de manger des spaghetti!
By DZ, July 14, 2010 @ 2:02 pm
I can’t say I’m opposed to this plan, but not exactly flush with excitement… yet. At any rate, goodbye John Holmes Mark I, we hardly knew ye.
By Tom G., July 14, 2010 @ 2:08 pm
On the bright side, by using a common chassis but allowing multiple variations of body work, the possibility of designing aero packages that resemble genitalia is virtually unlimited.
So we got that going for us.
By Earnastine, July 14, 2010 @ 2:11 pm
Let them eat spaghetti!
Here I sit, broken hearted,
Paid a dime and only farted.
The next time I took a chance,
Saved a dime and pooed my pants.
That about sums it up my Iconic experience
By Roy Hobbson, July 14, 2010 @ 2:12 pm
I’m back from IMA. The good news? Nobody got bayonetted! YAY!!!
The bad news? That goddamn rotating hologram jacked up my equilibrium & gave me the bedspins & I almost barfed on an Italian gentlemen in front of me.
More hard-hitting insights later.
[clutches desk w/ both hands, dry-heaves]
By bickelmom, July 14, 2010 @ 2:34 pm
I was underwhelmed at first, but the more I hear, the more I like. I’m WAY excited for the town of Speedway and our redevelopment. Big kudos there.
I liked the announcement itself other than that insane portion of Droid product placement. Roy – could you integrate random commercials into your history lessons?
de Launay shouted “Enough! Let me die!” and kicked a pastry cook named Dulait in the groin, who then took out his Droid and downloaded a “how to kill Frenchy McJailor app”
By Larry Phelps, July 14, 2010 @ 3:06 pm
I just read your recent salvo and to be honest I’m 12 pale ales into my day of golf/cart girls/muffelatta sandwiches so a note of caution is in order. I know not what you speak of about today’s activities regarding our faire motor sports.
I gather some sort of announcement was made and that the burgeoning boomtown that is Speedway, IN is readying itself for a facelift. Other than that I’m in the dark here. I see no commentary to the effect of, “holy shit! barring the announcement of the flying car or the eradication of STDs this shit is the type of stuff is Count Basie ‘Lester Leaps In’ style good.”
So, gotta go with underwhelming announcement. Roy just IM’d me and frankly I’m too drunk to respond to him. Continuing on the analogy I think that must be used is as follows:
I was hoping for a BJ, would settle for an HJ and actually received a hardy handshake and gift certificate to Charlie Trotter’s….which is all well and good, but kinda unrewarding considering the expectations.
Again, probably the hops talking because I’m quite certain the above in no way, shape or form qualifies as an analogy, Oh well. I love me some Rocky Colavito.
By irlfan360, July 14, 2010 @ 3:09 pm
i left IMA too shocked to form an opinion. Have to say when they said Dallara, my heart sunk. BUT…after taking it all in….hmmmm…sounds like a good plan, I guess we can see if it works…
By Earnastine, July 14, 2010 @ 3:28 pm
Larry you were hoping for the Austin Powers moment, again?
Never gonna happen after the last episode.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1q4EcJ9yScI&feature=PlayList&p=4389F55727FD2EE2&playnext_from=PL
By Roy Hobbson, July 14, 2010 @ 3:45 pm
I guess this is as good a time as any to mention this, so here goes. The Silent Pagoda’s entire HTML formatting code was typed in on a highly secure Verizon Droid X® phone from a fortified mountainside compound (read: NORAD). Also, using my Verizon Droid X® phone, I re-paved my driveway, made chilli, and rigged a jury. Bless you, Verizon Droid X® phone, you handsome beast!
/ICONIC’d
By Earnastine, July 14, 2010 @ 4:04 pm
“excuse me…And I wanted a toilet that is made out of solid gold and it just isn’t in the cards is it?”
Austin Powers
Same scenario, different version.
By manfish, July 14, 2010 @ 10:38 pm
Fervently opposed to you talking about your Verizon Droid X® phone. My iPhone is way better anyhow. I to wanted a toilet that is made out of solid gold, cause these porcelain jobs just don’t hold up.
By H.B. Donnelly, July 15, 2010 @ 12:31 am
Roy, I hate to be that guy, but…wait, no I don’t! The pictured phone is the regular Droid, and not the Droid X. The regular Droid can only concrete the base of mailbox posts, cook french toast, and lobby state senators to give money Italian small businesses that pretend to be American.
Now…to come up with some jokes involving “your mom” and “wheel interlock prevention”…
By Christopher Leone, July 15, 2010 @ 12:40 am
Wondering if Verizon will begin building aero kits that are hollowed out to read “Droid” on either side.
By H.B. Donnelly, July 15, 2010 @ 12:41 am
Also, I’m disappointed that they didn’t, just once, put Emperor Palpatine’s giant head up on the “hologram”. Seriously, IndyCar…how are we supposed to take you seriously if you don’t use hologram technology as George Lucas intended it?
By lazlo, July 15, 2010 @ 9:56 pm
These 12 – 13 hour work days are really cramping my racing habit. I finally sign in and find out I’m the last one to get to the blotter and everyone else has a three hour head start… (visions of druken, Taylor-Made swinging Pagoda types rolling golf carts all over central Indiana – ugly].
I don’t even know where to begin. After a charming 30 minute Carb Day conversation with Lola’s Steve Charsley; he almost had me talked out of my lust for the Swift 66. I know RH was in early love with the Dallara, but I was really hoping that we’d see all three. So it goes…
The modular approach should be interesting, but I fear that teams with deeper pockets will still prevail. It’s been great to D&R run towards the front, hell it’s even good to have Andretti’s gang having a go for it. I’m still not completely sold, but I’m still “all in”.
OT – I like my iPhone (2nd gen), love my iPad {bday gift from wife & daughters – they rock}.
The Droid, not unlike IndyCar, can/will be a contender with continued development.
Okay for now, back to spreadsheet hell.
By irlfan, July 16, 2010 @ 3:11 pm
hey roy…if you add the front wing and traditional wheelbase to the front of the dallara, it looks like….gasp…delta wing…
http://indycarnation.indycar.com/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=9198&sid=7e57c937f53523b4599e008ce011d695
By irlfan, July 16, 2010 @ 3:12 pm
whoops…what i meant to say is add the front wing and traditional wheelbase to a delta wing…its Dallara! (i started a bit early…its 5 o’clock somewhere, right?)
By DZ, July 19, 2010 @ 1:05 pm
Let’s all of us here band together and start the party by knocking out some aero parts. They don’t even have to be very good as long as we’re selling at a cut-rate JUST so we can have one or two Pagoda-Fords (or whatever lump they will put in it) on the grid at Indy. I also propose we insist the back wing has with block lettering that reads SO’S YOUR FACE!
By BC, July 19, 2010 @ 10:43 pm
DZ, that’s hilarious. The 2012 Pagoda-Ford is henceforth the car of my dreams.
By Roy Hobbson, July 19, 2010 @ 11:29 pm
The Pagoda-Ford nomination, seconded & passed w/o objection.
First order of business: what should our kit look like?
May it please the Chamber, I suggest the Pope Mobile, but am open to suggestions.
By Heit Harrelson, July 20, 2010 @ 8:08 am
The Pagoda-Ford shall resemble a bullpen car, part DeLorean, with a touch of Datsun 280Z. Roy, where shall we assemble this legendary piece of mechanical genius? With Dallara buying up everything in Speedway, I would suggest the empty space next to the Burlington Coat Factory on west 38th Street.
By Riss, July 20, 2010 @ 9:57 am
I recommend the “Homer”, which was the car that bankrupted Powell Motors after Herb Powell let his long lost half brother Homer Simpson design the car of the future.
By Roy Hobbson, July 20, 2010 @ 10:07 am
Ladies & gents, SO’S YOUR FACE! RACING® is proud to present the future of IndyCars: “The Homer”
“Powerful Like Gorilla.”™
By Tom G., July 20, 2010 @ 11:21 am
Very sleek and aero-dynamic! I like how you even rendered it in the classic Lotus paint scheme. Of course the purists with cry because it’s not an open wheel car, but that is a small price to pay for innovation.
I give it an Eleven on the Störtebeker-Ganassi Scale of Badassery
By Hamilton Fish, July 20, 2010 @ 12:59 pm
No clue on how to build a race car, but I think we should hire Miguel Angel Jimenez to be our spokesman/mascot. Nobody will ever convince me he wasn’t the inspiration for the Dos Equis ad campaign. Sign the guy up and really cool shit is going to happen.
He’d come cheap too. Just keep him well-stocked with blondes, Barolo and new Ferraris on a quarterly basis and he’s ours.
By DZ, August 2, 2010 @ 8:48 am
Did this just peter out or are we all working furiously on the new chassis parts?
- HamFish, the MA Jimenez idea is slotted perfectly, you’re in charge of marketing/liquoring up the owners (preferably w Dos Equis) and selling them on the Pagoda’s virtues…
- OK Heit and Roy are on the design and assembly.
- Any one got a nice bunch carbonfiber, silicon molds, some resin, and a huge autoclave laying around? Maybe we need some connections to procure/liberate said items from one of the lower-security facilities, OR we could just use some chickenwire and papier-mache the damned thing.
Now that I say it out loud, Forget the carbonfiber. I like the chickenwire idea. We need to start as a low-cost alternative to the big boys and market the hell out of it. Ham, you got the Dos Equis coming or what?