Greetings, Pagodians. Some of you may or may not have heard that Our Esteemed Leader in Debauchery, Mr. Hobbson his-own-self, is taking some time away from the ol’ gin-stained keyboard. He’s been more than a little cagey as to where he’s going, and what he’s doing, but I’ve got two main guesses:
1) Lindy Thackston has called in the collection crew for Roy’s mounting gambling debts (it is March Madness season, after all).
2) I heard rumblings about a Komodo dragon fighting ring at Motegi last year. If that’s true, there is clearly no doubt that you-know-who was directly at the center. Japanese summons are not to be ignored, from what I’ve heard, so Roy may be on a “sightseeing” mission to central Japan.
Whatever the case, I’ve been asked to come in and water the plants and pick up the mail in Roy’s stead. Some of you may know me from my updated once-every-third-fortnight blog. Others may know me as the guy whose Twitter vomit routinely blots out Vision Racing’s Twitter stream on race days. Other may know me from my only occasionally on-point/on-topic comments here and elsewhere (hi, George!). I’m The Speedgeek. And I have a racing problem.
I won’t belabor my introduction right at the moment, but Roy was right in saying that things are likely to be a little more…let’s go with “sober” for the next few days. My interests might be a little less explosive- and bodily function-based (and some might say a little less awesome-based) than Roy’s, but I can assure you, we’re going to keep things lively here. To wit, here are some topics that we’re sure to hit before St. Pete approaches this weekend:
- The all-time coolest IndyCar: the Lola T91/00 or the March 86C?
- The differences in laminar airflow over the version 1 and version 2 front wings of the Galmer G92.
- Would racing at Indianapolis Motor Speedway benefit from a change of the coefficient of friction of the racing surface from 0.62 to 0.63?
- Would Roberto Guererro still be racing today if the SAFER barrier had been invented 20 years earlier?
- Evening out turbo boost spikes in the intake manifold of the Menard-Buick V6: a how-to.
- Fabrizio Barbazza – A Speedway Love Story
- Carburetors: do they only belong on vintage race cars from the 1940s? Or just pre-war vintage race cars?
I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to dig in. See everybody soon for our first discussion: Pete DePaolo - Great American? Or Greatest American?
By H.B. Donnelly, March 22, 2010 @ 11:55 pm
Make sure not to forget a comparison of stress loads by material and size for various transmission bearings in gas-turbine drivetrains!
By cappy, March 23, 2010 @ 6:56 am
Oh HERE we go! Some real racing shit in the Pagoda. Or should I now say……the Pagdoa?
By Larry J. Phelps (R-IL), Distinguished Pagoda Parliamenterian, March 23, 2010 @ 7:21 am
SUSPENDING THE RULES….let the chaos ensue. Well played Speedgeek. An opening salvo of sarcasm mixed in with a little Roberto Guerrero is always a welcome sight. Yes, I think this little institution of ours is going to get along just fine without our Dear Leader.
The Pagdoa does indeed still live Cappy. Anyone care to wager the date before the IndyCar elite fix that? I’m betting some time around Flag Day…whenever that is.
By Oilpressure, March 23, 2010 @ 7:57 am
This is like an upscale development being built after a tornado destroys a slum. A breath of fresh air after breathing Hobbson’s distilled fumes. Vintage racing at The Pagoda? I think I need more coffee.
Well played, Andy.
By Earnastine, March 23, 2010 @ 8:26 am
Chum-chum, I bet the real parliamentarian is on his way to a very fast Spring Break Party-
Last year, Ryan Briscoe raced to a win followed by Ryan Hunter-Reay and Justin Wilson.
Average speed of the 2009 race was 81.542 mph with seven caution flags and five lead changes. (Surprisingly slow,maybe it was raining..) so Will Power could win again but GR is the one to watch and I hope he wins again!
Tampa Bay is sort of like Monte Carlo, after a few shots of whatever it is Roy drinks-
By BP, March 23, 2010 @ 8:33 am
Once a year, the college dive would clean their floors of all the dried beer, liquor and whatever else stained that tile. For a week, the place would reek of household cleaning products, complementing the $1 drafts.
That’s what this smells like to me.
(Oh, and Bobby Guerrero would still find a way to screw up at Indy, SAFER barrier or no.)
By JackAruteOnSports, March 23, 2010 @ 8:55 am
Good Start SpeedGeek. But, How can you mention Roberto Gurrero without Don WHitington, Teo Fabi and Howdy Holmes……Now those were the days!
And BTW How can you not be interested in the Sam Posey – Kevin Gogan exchange “Ah, Sam, I’d love to talk to you but I’m a little Busy right now….” Indy 500 1986
By Larry J. Phelps (R-IL), Distinguished Pagoda Parliamentarian, March 23, 2010 @ 8:55 am
POINT OF ORDER!!! Earnastine my good madam what shall we do with you? This Tampa–Monte Carlo comparison needs to be dealt with swiftly and severely.
This comparison is only valid in the minds of the truly detached. An example of this would be the recent communique this Body received from Mr. Hobbson early this morning around 3:27AM.
Hobbson: There’s a uh, big machine in the sky, some kind of, I dunno, electric water buffalo, coming straight at me.
Parliamentarian: Shoot it.
Hobbson: Not yet, I want to study its habits.
If you’re in this type of mental state “Tampa being sort of like Monte Carlo” is perfectly rational. On a serious note we might have to look for a new leader of the Pagdoa. I fear he may not return.
By redd, March 23, 2010 @ 9:35 am
In Hobbson’s case, I’m assuming that “out of the country” is slang for “spending five days in the county jail.” Which means that right now he’s using the water from the toliet and leftover orange rinds and fermented Wonder Bread to concoct some sort of prison liquor.
I was stunned to read actual words having to do with motorsports on his blog.
By DZ, March 23, 2010 @ 11:21 am
Interestingly, I was thinking that, in the wake of Hobbson’s absence, we go a little less Pee-Wee’s Playhouse and a LOT more THUNDERDOME! I want Hobbson to come back to a missing persons report and some unexplained bodily fluids/blood stains.
Can we not at least prank him by changing the top banner or nailing his desk and chair to the ceiling or something? SOMETHING?!
Perhaps I should just switch to decaf after 10AM.
By Bob, March 23, 2010 @ 12:10 pm
Love the Barbazza reference. I had him in our family pool the year he raced. I think he had a big ol’ wreck at Road Atlanta a while back and quit racing.
By Earnastine, March 23, 2010 @ 4:20 pm
Larryboy-
“You in the office baby……we goin’ up”
then hits the switches.
By lazlo, March 23, 2010 @ 6:58 pm
okay since the teacher is away – we can play the old school cool stuff – placed into nomination:
The dihedral winged Vel’s Parnelli (useless, but cool looking).
Perhaps the simple elegance of Colin Chapman’s Lotus 25 (simply beautiful).
Jim Hall’s Yellow Submarine (ground effect magic).
By Larry J. Phelps (R-IL), Distinguished Pagoda Parliamentarian, March 23, 2010 @ 7:05 pm
Lazlo your Parliamentary Inquiry is hereby denied. The talk in this house has become much too serious and mundane. Can someone please bring us back to a much more unusual and interesting state?
Bickelmom? Carrie? McVeigh? Anyone?
By lazlo, March 23, 2010 @ 7:17 pm
Oops. The ether is just wearing off and I had a chance to re-read my last post. Whoa. Sorry about that.
Okay, back to the debauchery.
By Earnastine, March 23, 2010 @ 7:37 pm
Bix, Carie and Mcveigh will be at the after-partay:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgpYPdN2mgw&feature=related
By Jason McVeigh, March 23, 2010 @ 8:10 pm
OK, St Patricks day was last week so I’ve just sobered up, and what do I find? I find that Hobbsons on the run, speedgeek is in charge and the comments have become (gulp) serious!! Our Pagoda parliamentary representative Larry J. Phelps has called for us to restore the silliness and we must heed his call. I think I can speak for my internet wife Carrie, Bickelmom and all the other crazies when I say that the Silent Pagoda will NOT become a respectable blog in Roys absence. So now let us speculate wildly on what Hobbson is doing for the next week. My guess is that he built a time machine to go back in time to find his favourite pirate Stortebeker and bring him back to destroy the delta wing project!
By Sallie Mae, March 24, 2010 @ 9:07 am
How should he be recognized on the streets of St.Pete?
Roy will be running from Chippie all week in his Izod casuals. Maybe the “obvious” one with an old Indy- golf tan in the pool with his Space-Shuttle Floaty(sort of looks like a D.W.)…or some guy wearing a grape-colored suit at one of the many tax-free gala’s?
I’m looking for the large silver spatula-waving high above the crowd.
By Tom G., March 24, 2010 @ 9:23 am
C’mon Geek. Level with us. Hobbson’s in jail isn’t he? It’s OK you know. We won’t think any less of him. In fact, we could probably raise some bail money with a “Free Roy Hobbson” paypal site.
By Ron Ford, March 24, 2010 @ 9:38 am
The IRL has hired a gentleman named Looney to help decide the fate of the Delta Wing thing. I guess you could kinda see that coming.
By Roy Hobbson, March 24, 2010 @ 9:42 am
Awwww crap. Unless the jungle heat has gotten to me, the Pagoda just up & got GOOD. A POX UPON YOU, GEEK!!!!
I guess I’ll just go lick some toads. Again.
By Earnastine, March 24, 2010 @ 9:43 am
Still, the bacon momentum continues unabated. I ate a giant seared scallop the other night at a food festival that was topped with salty bacon brittle.. that’s like Superman riding piggyback on Batman’s shoulders.
Let’s face it: Bacon’s pooped.
We need a new bacon, something else to obsess about. What’s as good as bacon? Well, nothing. Roy went to the Caymans to get a new perspective.
By pressdog, March 24, 2010 @ 10:36 am
Dude, this is going to your favorite dive bar and finding the parking lot full of Beemers and the inside populated by pastel-collars-up-polo-shirt-wearing, super-tanned white people ornamented with fine gold and drinking “apple-tinis.”
By Rob, March 24, 2010 @ 12:33 pm
On the contrary, Earnastine, bacon is not, as you say, pooped. My evidence? An email from my favorite restaurant/bar/hideout (why is it my favorite, you ask? Because they carry something like 500 different beers, but I digress)stating that if you order a drink from the bar, they will give you free, yes FREE, bacon. All I can say is, bringit. if you’re not convinced, remember the immortal words of Emeril: porkfat rules. Nuff said.
As far as Hobbson being gone, did you see the episode from the first season of United States of Tara on Showtime where the son says to the dad “Mom’s here, but mom’s not here”? I’m thinking it’s like that.
By NASCAR, March 24, 2010 @ 12:46 pm
“Carburetors: do they only belong on vintage race cars from the 1940s?”
No, sir; we gots ‘em here in NASCAR country!
By Earnastine, March 24, 2010 @ 1:53 pm
Rob,
We got bacon ice cream, bacon salt, bacon candy, bacon soap. We got bacon bandages, bacon wallets, even a so-called “Bacon Explosion,” the recipe for which called for wrapping 2 pounds of thick-cut bacon around a 2-pound roll of Italian sausage, slathering it with barbecue sauce, sprinkling it with barbecue rub and then throwing it on the grill.
Which is what our boy Roy is up to at the RV Park with AJ, all week end long!
By Bickelmom, March 24, 2010 @ 4:58 pm
I apologize for my lack of earlier response, but I was weeping with the joy of being a designated “Pagoda crazy.” I propose we merge the serious with the insane. Guererro vs. a lab rat used for makeup testing at St. Pete when the wind is coming from the west at 35 mph? Some old car model you folks seem to know vs. my tricked out mini-van fueled by cheerio crumbs and apple juice residue?