Time to make Super Bowl predictions. Take it away, various IndyCar folk:
Marty Reid —“America purchased New Orleans from the Spaniards, I believe, in 1983. Plus, there are no ballistic missile testing ranges within city limits. You know what all that tells me? Saints 48, Colts 30. It’s science.”
Scott Dixon — “Oh dear. I hope they both win. And that nobody gets hurt. Miami is such a busy town, though. I don’t much care for it.”
Danica Patrick— “My heart is with Indy, 148%. But the rest of the world loves the Saints right now, so I’m pretty sure I should too. Hmmmm. This is a toughie. Tell you what, I’ll pull for the Saints in the 1st & 4th quarters, and the Colts for the 2nd & 3rd. Wait, is that right? All this math talk makes my brain hurty.”
Chip Ganassi — [funnels 17 Hurricanes through a Wiffle Ball bat] “HEY, BABY!! I’LL SHOW YOU WHO DAT IS!!! THROW SOME BEADS UP TO DADDY!!! [takes his shirt off] SAINTS! SAINTS! SAINTS! SAINTS! SAINTS! SAINTS!” [eats a fistful of crawdads]
Randy Bernard— “I’ve never actually watched an NFL game before. But I’ll watch a lot of game tape between now and then with Cheyenne, my Yorkshire Terrier. She knows the game. I’ll lean heavily on her opinions. She’ll be the most important person in my life.”
Marco Andretti — “WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS ASKING ME STUFF?!? YOU’RE NOT MY B.F.F.!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!! I HATE YOU!!! [runs into bedroom, slams door, blasts Taylor Swift song]
Lindy Thackston — “Colts will win. You’re [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted] right, the Colts will [expletive deleted] win. Duh. The Saints can [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted] my [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted] with a can of [expletive deleted] shoe shine, those lousy [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted] bags.”
AJ Foyt — “Colts. You know, I got my head caught in a wheat thresher the other day. The doctor lady pronounced me dead. Twice. But sometime before I come to, I had a vision. I saw my boy Quattro down there on the Miama field holding up that queer trophy. My death visions ain’t been wrong yet. Now beat it, you sombitch.”
By Marc Bever, February 4, 2010 @ 11:20 am
Greatness!
By Jason Mcveigh, February 4, 2010 @ 11:39 am
Genius Roy. Just plain Genius!
By George Phillips (Oilpressure), February 4, 2010 @ 11:40 am
MARS — They will BOTH lose. Roger Penske didn’t buy Saturn because Ryan Hunter-Reay has crossed over to the dark side to race at Andretti Autosport and Go-Daddy exploits young women. That explains why the Colts and the Saints will both lose and Honda will continue to control the IRL so that young kids will be hypnotized by speed. It’s simple.
By Raymond, February 4, 2010 @ 11:56 am
I don’t know which is funnier. This one or..
http://silentpagoda.com/blog/2009/10/30/indycar-halloween-costumes/
By @djcraske, February 4, 2010 @ 12:29 pm
You know … I hadn’t thought about it, but is the Orbit gum “dirty mouth” spokeswoman an alter-ego of Lindy Thackston?
By Carrie, February 4, 2010 @ 12:54 pm
I pick the Mets. What?!? That’s baseball not football? Well so’s your face!
By MARS, February 4, 2010 @ 1:07 pm
Second place is always first loser.
By @99forever, February 4, 2010 @ 1:44 pm
However much they pay you, Roy, it isn’t enough.
By Bickelmom, February 4, 2010 @ 2:05 pm
This is absolutely hysterical. I’m telling all two of my friends to read it.
I’m pretty sure Roger P. is buying the city of New Orleans if they lose so he melt down all the beads and make a fancy new car part that adds an extra 10 mph.
Colts 35-14. Take it to the bank.
By Brian McKay, February 4, 2010 @ 2:13 pm
As Johnny Carson would say, “That is some wild, wacky stuff … I did not know that.”
-funny blog post and comment from George as MARS-
By Earnastine, February 4, 2010 @ 2:38 pm
“From George as MARS?”…
Incognito, really?
Very Funny, Brian.
Almost as Funny as ESPN.
By Dex, February 4, 2010 @ 2:58 pm
I laughed, quite a lot. :)
By Schrementi, February 4, 2010 @ 3:54 pm
Haha – The Pagoda does it again. I just choked on my coffee… Hilarious
By Riss, February 4, 2010 @ 4:51 pm
Just tremendous. I am constantly amazed that the drivers have time for Roy’s queries. I guess that just speaks to the caliber of people we have in the IRL.
By Coz, February 4, 2010 @ 6:26 pm
Playoffs and Super Bowls are always about defense. Look what the Saints did to the Vikes; that game was a blow out; the Saints were totally outplayed except for turnovers, which was reflected in the final out come. Saints D is playing great, Colts – we’ll see-the potential is there.
By Jeff Iannucci, February 4, 2010 @ 11:57 pm
Here’s my Super Bowl prediction: The Steelers will win. They will win because the game is rigged for them to win, as demonstrated by the fact that the right foot of Santonio Holmes STILL hasn’t touched the turf in the end zone.
http://www.sportsunderground.com/2009/02/santonio-holmes-td-in-question/
No, I’m not bitter. Not in the least. Now if you will excuse me, I shall now return to my basement and resume cleaning my extensive firearm collection.
By Bickelmom, February 5, 2010 @ 9:24 am
Jeff-
The Steelers have been rigging playoff games since the 1995 AFC Conference Championship. Kordell Stewart’s foot was out of bounds!!
*runs screaming from the room pulling at hair*
By BP, February 5, 2010 @ 10:54 am
Two weeks ago, I had the good fortune of breaking in my Reggie Wayne jersey in Las Vegas for the AFC title game (the Bob Sanders, Anthony Gonzalez & Brandon Stokley jerseys no longer cut it this year).
In my post-game haze, I ventured into In-N-Out Burger for a celebration. At some time, a double-double was dropped, and in my haste to catch it, I wound up with the burger on my shirt sleeve.
The subsequent grease stain resembles a horseshoe. What this means, I have no idea, other than the Colts will win. 35-24.
By redd, February 5, 2010 @ 12:46 pm
you are a funny man, hobbson. a twisted, sick, chemically-imbalanced, semi-dangerous funny man.
go COLTS!