Indianapolis in December is a wonderful place. A wonderful, face-peeling, soul-raping salvo of God’s frigid hate. It’s a place where the arctic winds will murder your lungs, and where the only moving things on most nights are salt trucks. WELCOME TO THE WINTER INDY TWEETUP, EVERYBODY!! HOORAY!!! [excitedly throws 6-pound mountaineering mittens up in the air]

Come on, gang!!! FOLLOW ME!!! Today we storm the swank OilPressure.com, where well-heeled high hats & scholarly folk congregate to rationally discuss all matters IndyCar. Balderdash, I say!!! Let’s show them how we do it. There’s skulduggery to be had, and HAVE IT WE WILL!! GRAB YOUR TORCHES & OPIUM PELLETS!!! TO THE BASTILLE!!!!!!

Curious as to what the Silent Pagoda might look like as a REAL IndyCar blog, are you? Well today’s your slightly-lucky day — for you have a 0.0000000047% chance of getting your wish. That happens to be the exact same chance that the Tennessee Titans have of beating the Colts today. And if that extraordinarily [...]

Welcome back to the Inbox of Opportunity. It’s pretty much exactly like Robin Miller’s Mailbag, but without all the judgment & quote-unquote “factual analyses.” If you wanted to be dumber, you’ve come to the right spot!  Let’s dive right in, shall we?  

Non sequiturs are dynamite comedic devices, as well as the natural enemy of cacti. They are not, however, useful in the reporting of factual information. Unless, of course, you’re the Kansas City Star — and your stories are written by Shetland ponies & dim witted NASCAR operatives. Behold this wonderful, illogical conclusion from their Danica article on Monday:  Patrick signed a [...]

Why, it seems that much has occurred in the world of IndyCar in my absence. Brazil was confirmed (although an official unconfirmation is likely scheduled for Thursday) …  Danica did something or other (coyly, I’d assume — with subtle tones of wavering) … and rumor has it that EJ Viso may join forces with Chip Ganassi [...]