Below are some quick facts about this city I so dearly love. I didn’t have time to research these, of course, but I’m fairly certain they’re accurate. Or at least, they’re not inaccurate. Potentially.
- the average temperature is 84-degrees;
- all unattractive women have been shipped off to work in Argentinian tanneries;
- bars close at 10:30 AM;
- the city’s original motto — dating back to 1528 — is “GET NAKED!!!!”;
- daggers are an accepted form of currency;
- the average work week is 38 minutes;
- the Polícia has standing orders to open fire on nerds & downers straying into city limits, no questions asked;
- judicial rulings are based on the greater weight of the beach-volleyball prowess;
- “Carnival” is exactly like “Mardi Gras” — but 72 billion times more uninhibited & drunken;
- shooting someone with a cannonball is a sign of affection;
- there’s a giant statue of Pelé, I think, watching over the city with open arms;
- the official flag of Rio is a bottle of cachaça;
- it’s quite possibly the greatest city on Earth.
Sweet Jesus we’re going to Rio!!!
By Jules, October 22, 2009 @ 2:22 pm
Hello, Rio. Goodbye, pants. (socks and shoes optional, of course)
By pressdog, October 22, 2009 @ 2:28 pm
Punked. I just heard this was a false alarm.
By Roy Hobbson, October 22, 2009 @ 2:35 pm
Double-punked. You heard wrong. They’re waiting on official tedium that I needn’t concern myself with. I’m not retracting shit. In fact, I’LL KEEP THE RIO FACTS GOING!!!
In Rio, all piñatas are filled with disco balls & hard-partying midgets.
By Jules, October 22, 2009 @ 2:42 pm
I thought they were filled with vials and pills of recreational drugs. Up yours, pressdog (for no particular reason)
By pressdog, October 22, 2009 @ 2:50 pm
So what you’re saying is, YOU STAND BY IT.?
By Mike in Edmonton, October 22, 2009 @ 3:00 pm
And all IRL drivers, crew members and personel will have to have Brazillion waxes before entering the country
By Jose, October 22, 2009 @ 3:03 pm
There’s no piñatas in Rio… Stupid! It’s not Mexico…
Jus’t dead bodies over the “favelas”…
By Joao, October 22, 2009 @ 3:04 pm
Foda-se o RIO, tomara que uma bala perdida estoure os miolos de um piloto. Só tem paga-pau do rio nessa porra, salvador merecia bem mais!
By Brasileiro, October 22, 2009 @ 3:07 pm
That lack of respect! Then we are the third world country. I might even mention a few good here, but will not descend to the level of you, but I just say one thing, we give respect and demand the same.
By BP, October 22, 2009 @ 3:09 pm
Damn it, now “Copacabana” is stuck in my head.
By Bruno, October 22, 2009 @ 3:10 pm
Rio Rules! Chupa Salvador! Chupa SP!
By outtaphase, October 22, 2009 @ 3:12 pm
This should go to a translated Brazilian article about the leak. Screenshot of leaked article, and info that TK leaked it on twitter then took it down.
http://translate.google.com/translate?u=http%3A%2F%2Fesporte.ig.com.br%2Fgrandepremio%2Fformulaindy%2F2009%2F10%2F22%2Findy%2Bpublica%2Bnoticia%2Bem%2Bsite%2Boficial%2Bantes%2Bda%2Bhora%2Be%2Bconfirma%2Bindy%2Bvira%2Bao%2Brio%2B8914158.html&sl=pt&tl=en&hl=en&ie=UTF-8
By tiago, October 22, 2009 @ 3:15 pm
Poderia ter sido em interlagos… BEM MELHOR que o o RJ
SP ownz
By Roy Hobbson, October 22, 2009 @ 3:36 pm
Chupa SP!
I hope “SP” means São Paulo, and not Silent Pagoda. I KNOW WHAT CHUPA MEANS!!!!!!!!!!!
By Allen Wedge, October 22, 2009 @ 3:37 pm
Ich fühle mich ein wenig geringer, weil ich nicht eine zweite Sprache zu sprechen, tun, um Ihre Kommentare an, füllen aber das ist nichts, was ein wenig Google übersetzen kann nicht behoben werden können.
By AutoRacer5, October 22, 2009 @ 3:43 pm
screenshots of the story:
http://img230.imageshack.us/img230/6991/ss1y.jpg
http://img230.imageshack.us/img230/4092/ss2wb.jpg
By paulo ferreira, October 22, 2009 @ 3:45 pm
it will be fantastic!
By Jules, October 22, 2009 @ 4:34 pm
Wow, one inaccurate generalization and suddenly you have Brazilian readers coming out your thong-clad crap-cutter. Insult the Chinese. There’s like a billion people the league could tap into over there.
By Roy Hobbson, October 22, 2009 @ 4:39 pm
We’re clearing this up right now. I DID NOT INSULT ANYBODY!!!!! Is calling Rio “the greatest city in the world” in any way derogatory? No. It is not.
I’m on YOUR side, Brazil. All I want to do is spend a relaxing 3 or 4 wonderous nights in Rio eating fire swords & going to beachside raves until noon the next day.
By Filipe_Brasil, October 22, 2009 @ 4:42 pm
I’m Brazilian and you are speaking ill of my country, know nothing, care for the Bin Laden … hehe
By Roy Hobbson, October 22, 2009 @ 4:52 pm
HOORAY!!! The Pagoda’s first Bin Laden reference/quasi-threat. Well it’s aboooouut time!
By outtaphase, October 22, 2009 @ 5:00 pm
Wait, now IRL officials are claiming someone “hacked” their site? seriously?
http://bit.ly/2HW0bL
By soulzin, October 22, 2009 @ 5:44 pm
WTF He isn’t insulting anyone, he is joking. Seriously guys, are you really THAT stupid?
By cappy, October 22, 2009 @ 6:37 pm
I see that the language barrier remains strong like carrot. I mean bull.
By Larry Phelps, October 22, 2009 @ 7:02 pm
Jesus people I go off for jury duty the day Brazilians bomb America’s 3,238th most favored blog. Allow me to translate what Brother Roy is trying to say.
Here goes:
Man its cold as shit here in dreary Indiana and man if I didn’t have a successful career, wife and beautiful children I’d love to take full advantage of what Rio as to offer. Buck the f*&k up Rioites are whatever you call yourselves. The Chicago race road trip is hereby canceled. Flights are being made post haste and Roy, myself, Souers et al. will be descending on your fair city to lay waste to wine and women. See you in the springtime. Also, we’d prefer to “not” pay for our “entertainment” so if somebody could arrange that we would be most appreciative.
By Doug, October 22, 2009 @ 10:53 pm
The notion that the article was the work of a hacker that broke in and only posted that one prepared article is hot steaming pile of crap. If someone hacked the site, they would have done a lot more that simple search for an article that was already written and press the publish button. Someone on the IndyCar.com web dev team screwed up, pure and simple.
By Mandy, October 23, 2009 @ 1:49 am
Opening fire on nerds and downers? We’re gonna need a lot of replacement drivers…
By manfish, October 23, 2009 @ 8:46 am
Mandy is right
By MM, October 23, 2009 @ 10:43 am
this should clear everything up (just disregard the text and look at the beautiful pictures.)
http://coedmagazine.com/2009/10/05/chicago-lost-butt-were-all-winners-108-beautiful-brazilian-butts/
By AutoRacer5, October 23, 2009 @ 11:39 am
The story was linked on Tony Kanaan’s twitter. That’s how it got out.
By Jason, October 24, 2009 @ 8:24 am
Very Nice! But, you must no that the Jacarepagua circuit in Barra da Tijuca is more safety place to race. We have the both circuits: oval and mixed. Think about it!
By dylan, October 24, 2009 @ 10:54 pm
Weird. Hopefully the Brazil race goes on. So, whats the odds we see this article back up on the 31st?
By ToMINAGA, October 26, 2009 @ 10:51 pm
Hey Guys!
You do not know anything about Brazil!
If you think they are going to drop these damn pants and walk around naked will end up screwing, because in Brazil it is indecent! They will be arrested! Bikini on the beach is something else! Do not confuse nudity with carnaval and cachaça!
Certainly, in Rio, if envolvere with the “slum dogs” go back to your country with no pants and no wallet.
Rio is a dangerous city!
By ToMINAGA, October 26, 2009 @ 10:55 pm
INTERLAGOS in São Paulo is Much Better!
By Thiago, November 30, 2009 @ 11:43 am
Indy car is commingo to São Paulo, not Rio!! Post a new entry about the race in Brazil.
CHUPA RIO!!