Welcome to the Desert of IndyCar Nothingness — where time stands still, and Homestead lingers over the horizon like an unreachable, magical oasis that doesn’t actually exist. Embrace the senility & wander with me, won’t you? It’s great fun.
[does jumping jacks ... breaks down sobbing/laughing hysterically]
If that doesn’t suit your fancy, just submit your questions to the Inbox of Opportunity. We’ll have guest speakers answering your queries, and I GUARANTEE you that one lucky entrant will win a $75,000 bar of silver!*
*not an actual guarantee
Is it a clichéd & half-assed attempt to generate material? Well of course it is. But it’s better less dumb than sawing off your own foot with a cactus. If only barely.