Now that everybody’s relatively fine and not grotesquely charred following the Edmonton Inferno, I feel quite comfortable publicizing how my imaginary conversation with Kanaan would have gone down immediately after the blaze: [Audio clip: view full post to listen] Yes sir, awesome indeed. And then some. Because when it comes right down to it, nothing grabs your attention quite like a raging [...]

► Tony Kanaan goes on PTI tonight to discuss the old timey, down-home fun of exploding into a ball of fire.     ► Danica Patrick Tweets like a Rodgers & Hammerstein number: “I love love love cooking!” All it’s missing is her high-stepping in a slightly crouched over pose while snapping her fingers in rhythm.    [...]

Karma, I’m afraid, is a sad & lonely bitch who is clearly insane. A pyromaniac with a grudge, if you will, hellbent on destroying Tony Kanaan.   The Curse of the Clambake continues. Violently. And is showing no signs of relenting. Drastic times call for drastic measures, it would seem. And drastic measures are forthcoming. Stay tuned.

Will my city survive the weekend? Probably. Probably. But as we now know, it won’t be without significant structural damage & many drunken M-80 induced blindings & the clinging odor of feet. Thanks, NASCAR!!!  Me? I’m holed up in my basement — shotgun in hand — praying for the best. For I once saw the beast up close, and was [...]

Among the shysters and snake oil salesman of the world there are words and phrases used as effective marketing ploys to get your attention. “FREE.” “NEW AND IMPROVED.” “LIVE NUDE GIRLS.” All tried and true sales tactics that unfortunately have no bearing on the sports world. No, here, “FREE” comes with $10 Parking and equally [...]

Because I am contractually obligated to do so, here is your weekly update on the Danica Sweepstakes. And to be honest here, I’ve made my position clear on such matters. This isn’t something I enjoy, nor does it keep my short attention span. It bores me to no end. That said, let’s jump right in!!! According to [...]

   Ahhh yes, Edmonton. Summer of aught-8. The Tussle on the Tarmac, they called it. It was unseasonably cool that day, and the women in the grandstands wore fine cashmere sweater vests. I remember it well. [packs tobacco pipe with robust hickory blend]