Bollocks!! to Purdue basketball coach Matt Painter dropping the flag at the track today. We’re all dumber & probably more prone to cheating for having witnessed it.  [hums IU's fight song proudly] Banjos!! to me for setting the proper tone here today. Go to hell, Boilermakers.

Visiting Indianapolis for the first time, are you? Unsure as to what to do away from the track? Where to eat? What neighborhoods to avoid? Want to know where Ron Artest still keeps a moat-encircled residence? Curious as to which White Castles sell reasonably priced street drugs? Wondering what happens if you openly call Reggie Miller “overrated” within [...]

{busy construction site at the corner of 30th & Kessler} Foyt: Ahhhhhhhh … smell that, Frenchy? That there’s the smell of brawn and confidence. I reckon it’s high time we got you some of each. Vitor: It smells like dust. And old bread. And I don’t like it.

Like many of you, I planted myself on the couch with some Doritos on Saturday afternoon to watch a horse race – the only one I’ll likely watch all year – because I’m practically obligated to pay attention to the Kentucky Derby. It’s attended by thousands, it’s been held for well past a century, and [...]

***5/3/09 UPDATE*** — The Silent Pagoda is proud to present a new title sponsor of the wonderous, quasi-legal affair: Tony Kanaan. May Karma finally shine Her glorious light down upon you the following day, you Brazilian saint you. And may your financial investment prove to be a wise one. The Tipple in the Ripple™ is [...]