He has the voice of an angel, and the burly fists of Deacon Jones.
He hunts crooked Mexican pharmaceutical executives for sport.
He is a nobleman first, an artisan second, and a maker-of-dreams always.
He WAS the United States Justice Department from 1963 to 1971.
His likeness appears on the Nepalese dollar.
His trousers are hand-woven from the esophageal fibers of those who have wronged him.
He was the best man at Moses Malone’s wedding.
He smells of olives & wisdom.
He is the de facto mayor of Tangier, and has many wealthy acquaintances there.
He is widely considered to have been the ghostwriter for Shel Silverstein.
He is naturally distrustful of the Chinese, and feels guilty for this.
His age is not measured in earthly years, but rather in various celestial events we know little about.
He has the eyesight of a barn owl. He rarely speaks of this superpower, though, as he considers it boastful.
He and Irving Berlin once drank a barrel of rum outside of the Polo Grounds during a Mets rain delay, and then together they wrote “God Bless America.”
By Sean, May 15, 2009 @ 6:59 am
He can unhinge his jaw like a boa constrictor to swallow evil doers whole.
By Flash, May 15, 2009 @ 7:37 am
Are you suggesting that Gomer Pyle helped cover up the JFK assassination? I like it.
By Heit Harrelson, May 15, 2009 @ 8:57 am
He was the 8th and only surviving passenger on the Space Shuttle Challenger.
By Hamilton Fish, May 15, 2009 @ 9:05 am
Nabors is a lot like Paul Goydos to the PGA Tour (or Idaho to the United States) — it just wouldn’t be complete without them. So it is with the 500 and this glorious man.
By pressdog, May 15, 2009 @ 9:45 am
He once saved AJ Foyt from a cloud of angry bees by inhaling the insects — then showed his humorous side by punctuating this feat with a thunderous burp.
By Roy Hobbson, May 15, 2009 @ 10:37 am
His left testicle is actually a high-powered taser gun placed there by God.
(Too far? Too far. I’ll show myself out, thanks.)
By Jennifer of Dog.Yarn.Knit., May 15, 2009 @ 11:05 am
He once stumbled upon a brigade of fallen soldiers in the Iraqi desert. To save them from gangrene, he urinated on them and they were completely healed in a matter of seconds. Later, that same day, those soldiers captured Saddam Hussein.
By Chris Estrada, May 15, 2009 @ 11:33 am
He’s the one Willis was talkin’ about.
By Brian, May 15, 2009 @ 12:27 pm
I’m proud to say that he’s my father. …uh, my uncle? Hey, f<#]% you! I can dream, can’t I?! Geez…
By Coz, May 15, 2009 @ 12:41 pm
Back Home Again. True story – a friend of mine and I were in the gift shop, east side one when you walk into the Hall of Fame Museum, and Jim came walking in. He signed our programs on the “Back Home Again” page. Each and every year, I stand at the staging area of the parade and give him my own rendition of Back Home Again – He and Flo love it!
By FVRacerShawny, May 18, 2009 @ 8:55 pm
Chuck Norris once asked Mr Nabors for dating advice.
By Sean, May 18, 2009 @ 9:27 pm
He has the bat speed of a young Gary Sheffield.
By Matt, June 10, 2012 @ 7:00 pm
Great blog, and I love the site. I wish you would write more. I remember the old Flipside site. Wonderful reading. The naked pacers article brought me to tears I was laughing so hard.