The fence has been climbed. The empty bottles have been collected. The guy with the “Free Mammograms and Pap Smears” sign in the Coke Lot has gone home. Until we meet again next year, Indy is officially over. This week our attention turns to THE Milwaukee Mile, the self-proclaimed oldest track in racing. Milwaukee has [...]

The time has come. The madness is now upon us. And as such, we must all begin preparing in our own special ways – whatever those might be. Perhaps you must load up the car. Or maybe you need to add the finishing touches to your fortified compound in the Coke Lot. Or maybe it’s time to start free-basing OxiClean and heading [...]

While old Flash typically hates the study of sociology (as well as speaking of oneself in the 3rd person), he’s electing to do both today in the first-ever study of the different groups in each seating area of the track.

Hello there, Spencer. Welcome to the show. Hey, Mr. Davidson. I had a question about my great aunt Wilma. According to my dad, she always claimed to be one of the volunteers who released the balloons before the 1949 Indy 500. I can’t remember her last name — but was she a filthy liar? Was she telling [...]

For those of you attending your first Indy 500, listen here. The majesty of the event shall never be questioned, nor will it be here — the Pagoda has made this quite clear. It’s a stunningly glorious affair, and well worth any burdensome financial expenditures and/or the possibility of eating 18 tenderloin sandwiches. However, for [...]

Q: Mommy, why is that Muppet laughing? A: Oh, sweetie. That’s not a Muppet. That’s an Aborigine gentleman, I think. He’s laughing to hide his pain.

With the resurgent popularity of the Indy 500, and the influx of new fans that the VERSUS television contract has brought to the race, I thought it appropriate to introduce to the first-time 500 visitors the types of degenerates, heathens, and track rats they will surely come across at the Speedway. Of course, I could just [...]