“I’m not going to tolerate it anymore. When I see him, I will have a talk with him.” — an angry AJ Foyt, voicing his displeasure with Helio Castroneves According to my Merriam-Webster Dictionary of Foytian Phraseology®, this doesn’t bode well for Helio. This doesn’t bode well at all. Have a look:

I’ve decided it’s time to read up on this supposed “swine flu” thing I’m incessantly hearing about & not paying attention to. The whole ordeal is interferring with my Kansas Recap, and has become a bother. Do we actually need continuous news coverage of this? Is it really THAT bad? I’m guessing no. I mean, it’s the flu … not Lou Gehrig’s [...]

Blah blah blah witty, insightful comments blah blah blah somewhat like the overthrowing of misguided, communist nations blah blah blah Tony Kanaan will win today & then feast on the flesh of Shawnee-area coyotes. Yeah yeah, another Open Mic. Got it. We know the drill. But before turning you loose, just know that a smarter man than me once [...]

I’d like to start this edition of Pay Attention with an apology to Danica Patrick, and by that I mean “You’re welcome, Mrs Hospenthal”. You see, last week I wrote on this esteemed site the following: The last time Danica Patrick raced at Long Beach, she won. It was 9 years ago, and it was [...]

[The WTR Report runs every Monday at around noon — or possibly Thursday — throughout the season] Make no mistake, there are monumental struggles in this world. Unimaginable, horrifying struggles occuring as we speak. People struggling with famine & war & disease & the like. And nobody’s saying those struggles aren’t bothersome, because I’m quite certain they are. [...]

According to IndyCar Commercial Division President Terry Angstadt, the Pagoda’s Open Mic is “a safe gathering place for our MENSA-level fans who may or may not be high on paint-thinner. It’s a most bitchin’ place.” Hear-hear, Terry. Well said. And seeing as how we’ve got another four or five hours until the race begins, we might be a tad front-heavy on the [...]

Sorry, Roy…but I got no Snoop Dogg. I can’t exactly “drop it like it’s hot” when I’m locked in the meat cooler of the Long Beach media center right now. I’m like Knut the polar bear down here waiting for someone to throw me a frozen halibut, and you’re expecting me to get all “pimps [...]