An IndyCar.com blog only vaguely related to IndyCar.
In terms of designing a new IndyCar, I’m not terribly hard to please. I’m not fussy. I want what every American wants: for it to combine the aesthetic elements of a Ninja throwing star & a seductive January Jones — all while maintaining the sleek lines of a cheetah cyborg of some sort. Oh, and I want it to look like it’s doing 900 mph while parked in a garage. Is that so hard?
Ummm, apparently not.
BOOM! RIGHT THERE!! THAT’S HOW YOU DESIGN AN INDYCAR!!
Mmmmmmmm … buttery. Below are some never-before-seen views of that which ignited the IndyCar blogoverse yesterday.
(By Pat Caporali — from Vision Racing Will Not Go Gently)
Dear Mr. Brian McKay,
It’s unfortunate that you feel that “the Vision team as a whole is a joke, and the sponsor-seeker(s) and PR flack(s) should fall on their swords in shame rather than blame their misfortune on ‘the economy.’ — pathetic…”
Time to make Super Bowl predictions. Take it away, various IndyCar folk:
Indianapolis again finds itself in a dark place. A bad, self-loathing place where we’re stricken with guilt & no confidence. It’s a place reserved for Goth kids & strippers on most days. But not today.
Because for the second time in four years, we must own up to the painful truth that we — and we alone — unleashed this vile little turd demon on the world. May God have mercy on our souls:
Because Indianapolis is currently in a crazed lather over Dwight Freeney’s (alleged) 3rd-degree ankle sprain, I thought I could shed some much needed light on the situation. Some truth. Not because I know Freeney, really. Not because I know the Colts doctors. But rather because I know the injury.
Randy Bernard is IndyCar’s new CEO. Others have weighed in on the hire far more eloquently than I could, and I tend to defer to their learned opinions on such things. So should you. So should that cowboy, who looks so sad. But back to Bernard.
All I know is that at the time of his hire, he was a complete IndyCar outsider who’d never once seen an IndyCar race (MADNESS!) and that he built the Professional Bull Riding empire out of shrewd grit & broken ribs. Well say no more — I think I’ve heard quite enough. I think we’re ready for a decision. Judges?
Yep. That’s a 9.42 on the Störtebeker-Ganassi Scale. Savvy hire, Mr. Belskus. Savvy indeed. It’s a new era for IndyCar, and anyone not on board with this might get their skull thumped. (I’m just kidding. You WILL get your skull thumped. Chin up, cowboy.)
(Tragically, all the other websites from that neighborhood are either dead or in jail.)
